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Recap

When a bully picks on Chris, he goes to Peter for help, who ends up beating the kid senseless.  Realizing bullying is fun, Peter runs around beating people up until it's actually Chris who steps up and beats Peter back to his senses.  Meanwhile, when Stewie goes out without sunscreen and accidentally gets a tan, he becomes obsessed with tanning.  After being left in a tanning bed for six hours, a sunburnt Stewie fears he has cancer and lives every day like it's his last.

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11

Family Guy Season 5 Episode 11 Quotes

(Brian is taking the trash out, and hears music)
Brian: Stewie, what are you doing?
Stewie: Just gettin' my bronze on baby. Hey, what do you think of my recumbent tan pose? Huh, legs probably spread a little wider than they ought to be, but who gives a damn. This is just tan Stewie being tan Stewie. Check me out Brian.
(Stewie grabs a Tab soda from a cooler and drinks it so the label is showing, then turns to the camera and smiles)

Peter: You got Legos? Aw, sweet! Lois only buys me Mega Bloks.
Lois: They're the same thing, Peter.
Peter: You know what, Lois? They are not the same thing. And the sooner you get that through your thick skull, the sooner we can get this marriage back on track.