Family Guy

Sundays 9:00 PM on FOX
Family guy
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Quotes

Recap

When a bully picks on Chris, he goes to Peter for help, who ends up beating the kid senseless.  Realizing bullying is fun, Peter runs around beating people up until it's actually Chris who steps up and beats Peter back to his senses.  Meanwhile, when Stewie goes out without sunscreen and accidentally gets a tan, he becomes obsessed with tanning.  After being left in a tanning bed for six hours, a sunburnt Stewie fears he has cancer and lives every day like it's his last.

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Episode Number:
11

Family Guy Season 5 Episode 11 Quotes

Peter: You got Legos? Aw, sweet! Lois only buys me Mega Bloks.
Lois: They're the same thing, Peter.
Peter: You know what, Lois? They are not the same thing. And the sooner you get that through your thick skull, the sooner we can get this marriage back on track.

Quagmire: Hey, hey, hey, hey that's a stroke!
Peter: I just tapped my ball, Quagmire. Relax.
Quagmire: Oh relax, huh? Look, I just tapped my ball. Oh, just tapped it again. Tap, tap, tap...oh where is it? It's in the hole. Eagle. Yay Quagmire!
(Quagmire bends his putter across his knee and throws it against the cart)
Joe: Hey Quagmire, you know it's not fun when you're like this.
Quagmire: You want fun? Go home and buy a monkey!
Cleveland: What does that even mean?
Quagmire: I don't know. (voice drops to normal) Boy, we've got a beautiful day for this.