Stewie: Which is hugging someone really hard with your legs.
Brian: Nope.
Stewie: Oh, well you'll tell me if I get it right?

Does this mean you're going to move to Europe to make movies?

Peter

I don't want to go to jail, but I really want to take credit.

Quagmire

Random Party-Goer: You want to go upstairs?
Meg: Sure!
Random Party-Goer: Good. Go.

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Have you seen my copy of "Into the WIld?"

Peter

Let's go take a ride in my open jeep. I took the doors off so it's extra terrifying.

Peter

No, I'm sorry. I thought this was a bank.

Peter

You shouldn't have to do porn to feel appreciated.

Lois

Wait, hold on Brian, everyone deserves a proper funeral. Why do you think we're saving that VCR box in the basement?

Stewie

How bout I just take 'head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes.'

Stewie

Stewie: Hey Brian, show her your Boost mobil phone.
Brian: Stewie has AIDs.

Peter: It feels like just yesterday, she was born!
Doctor: You want to cut the cord?
Peter: Yeah, sure!
Doctoer: Okay that wasn't the cord, and now you've got a girl.

Family Guy Quotes

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)

Meg: Do you like Coldplay?
Tobey: Am I a dull white guy? Yes, I like Coldplay!