I was wrong to chose sexiness over my wife.

Peter

Mr. Giraffe who lets little boys grind on his rump. Or Mr. Octopus who, who let's little boys grind on his rump.

Peter

Lois: I don't even know what this is anymore!
Peter: It's a strip club that gives away free cookies.

She just wrote "vagina" on her boobs! That doesn't even make any sense!

Peter

Brian: Stewie what are you doing?
Stewie: Being awesome.

That was the right thing to do Peter.

Lois

Like Moses and his buddy who liked to collect seashells.

Peter

Peter's Wife's Cookies.

Peter

If you say it like that one more time, I'm going to drown you.

Brian

Could you get me some yaww-gurt?

Stewie

Vegetable, meat, meat, vegetable, meat.

Stewie

How far away are the stars?

Peter

Family Guy Quotes

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)

Peter, are you just trying to take a knee until the end of the show? Peter that's not gonna work, you can't just --

Lois