Family Guy Quotes
Brian: What's on his arms?
Stewie: Those are waterwings. He was terrified of the water.
Come on guys. We're getting Oklahoma, Wyoming, Arkansas, Missouri, Nebraska, Kansas, North Dakota, South Dakota and Louisiana. What are the chances all those states suck?Thomas Jefferson
Brian: Excuse me Mr. Hemingway. Can I have a beer with you?
Ernest Hemingway: Sure, I love life and all the people in it.
Brian: Thanks and, as a fellow writer, I'd love to talk to you about your craft God if only we can get rid of these damn arms and attach the pen directly to the heart.....
[Hemingway shoots himself]
Besides, saving this ship would mean, like, talking to 80 people and I'm not in the mood right now.Stewie
Stewie Also, I gave the string quartet the music for highway to the danger zone
Brian: You have the sheet music for highway to the danger zone?
Stewie: Uh, yeah, that's all I keep in here. It's power bars and sheet music
I don't speak for Jesus, I just get him trim.Peter
Stewie: Boy this must be killing you. You're an atheist, and the one guy you don't believe in is getting to bang the woman of your dreams.
Brain: I don't have to take this! I'm out of here. Can you let me out?
Peter: Like, anything in the universe?
Peter: Brookstone massage chair.
Jesus: Are you sure?
Peter: Never been more sure about anything in my life.
Peter: Jesus, we're going to help you lose your virginity!
Quagmire: Oh god! I love sex!
Joe: Sex is overrated.
Peter: Stay out of this Joe.
Jesus: Uh hot ladies. Horny ones. Who, uh, sex on you.
Jesus: Yeah, you know, they come back to your house and sit on your butt.
Peter: Oh look Jesus, you shouldn't be alone during Christmas. And if I remember correctly, isn't your birthday sometime soon too?
Jesus: Ah whatever, I'm fine. I'll probably just reheat some ramen and watch Grey's Anatomy.