[After seeing the social worker give Mrs. Stevens back her baby]
Chris: So this is where babies come from?
Brian: Yes Chris, this is exactly where babies come from.
Chris [to Lois]: You told me I came out of your vagina

• Permalink: So this is where babies come from? Yes Chris, this is exactly ...
• Added: September 29, 2009

God! Do you people speak every language except english? Yo quiero pancakes! Done ma pancakes! Click click bloody click pancakes!

Stewie [in foster care]

• Permalink: God! Do you people speak every language except english? Yo quier...
• Added: September 29, 2009

Joe: Peter wanted the trophy the most.
Peter: I couldn't have stolen the trophy. Last night I was stealing Joe's ladder so I could steal the trophy tonight.
Lois: Peter!
Peter: What? It's a ladder, he's not gonna use it. That's like taking a watch off a dead guy

• Permalink: Peter wanted the trophy the most. I couldn't have stolen the t...
• Added: September 29, 2009

Peter: You told them that we cheat on our taxes, steal lawn mowers, and worship some guy named Stan.
Bonnie: Actually I said Satan. That must have been a typo

• Permalink: You told them that we cheat on our taxes, steal lawn mowers, and...
• Added: September 29, 2009

And Cleveland, you're the boss because of your attention to detail. Like when we play pool, you take so long to line up your shot that I just want to crack you with a cue stick. But I don't because that would be a hate crime and I love you

Peter

• Permalink: And Cleveland, you're the boss because of your attention to deta...
• Added: September 29, 2009

Brian: It's amazing, Peter. You've inspired the whole neighborhood to work together.
Peter: You know what's really amazing? I haven't brushed my teeth in three days, and no-one has said a thing

• Permalink: It's amazing, Peter. You've inspired the whole neighborhood to w...
• Added: September 29, 2009

Pretty high and mighty for a man who left our nation's flag out in the rain last 4th of July. That's against the law, Officer

Cleveland [to Joe]

• Permalink: Pretty high and mighty for a man who left our nation's flag out ...
• Added: September 29, 2009

Stewie: What the hell is this?
Lois: Sweetie, that's tuna salad.
Stewie: Oh, is that what it is? Really? Because I could have sworn it was mayonnaise and cat food

• Permalink: What the hell is this? Sweetie, that's tuna salad. Oh, is th...
• Added: September 29, 2009

Lois: This could be a great chance for you two to bond.
Peter: Bond? James Bond. I'll do it

• Permalink: This could be a great chance for you two to bond. Bond? James ...
• Added: September 29, 2009

Chris [on the phone]: So, ah, what are you wearing? Wow. I bet you could see right through that.
Lois: Chris, who you talking to?
Chris: Grandma

• Permalink: So, ah, what are you wearing? Wow. I bet you could see right thr...
• Added: September 29, 2009

Lois: It's Stewie. He peed on the carpet.
Peter: Do I... Do I hit him?
Lois: No!

• Permalink: It's Stewie. He peed on the carpet. Do I... Do I hit him? No...
• Added: September 29, 2009

Dr. Kaplan: I'd like to pat you Brian. Would that be okay? You're a good dog, Brian. A very good dog.
Brian: Keep it above the waist, Doc

• Permalink: I'd like to pat you Brian. Would that be okay? You're a good do...
• Added: September 29, 2009