Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFamily Guy Quotes
Tom: And now part two of our very own Asian correspondent, Tricia Takanawa's special report on sex.
Tricia: Tom, I'm standing in the bedroom of Judy and Glenn Issacs. Ten years married and still in love. What's their secret? Judy has an inoperable brain tumor the size of my fist and that just happens to be Glenn's fetish
Peter: Hey Brian. How ya doin'? They let you out already?
Brian: Peter, I was in a therapy session, not a lunatic asylum
Brian: My therapist thinks he's figured out what my problem is.
Peter: Oh yeah, what does Sigmund Fraud think it is?
Brian: He, ah, thinks I'm in love.
Peter: Oh my God. You can talk!
Brian: Never mind
Stewie, did you unhook mommy's bra?
Lois
Brian: Okay, just to be clear, we were talking about me being in love with you and you rejecting me, right?
Lois: Yes.
Brian: I'm just making sure.... Say we were both drunk and we knew we wouldn't remember...
Lois: Well, I'd have to be really, really... No!
You're urinating! So, it's been you all along. Oh, this is too perfect! I've been taking the blame for Rex!
Stewie
Bob Barker: Help control the pet population and have your pet spayed or neutered.
Brian: Oh, just die already
Y2K? What are you selling, chicken or sex jelly?
Peter
Nooooooo! Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids. Damn long ears, trying to steal Easter from Jesus
Peter
Brian: Oh my god! They're eating Asian reporter Tricia Takanawa!
Peter: That's crazy...they'll just be hungry again in an hour
Oh dear me, yes yes, this is how I wanted to enter the new millennium...locked in the basement with imbeciles dressed like a gay Neil Armstrong
Stewie
Peter: Let's go.
Lois: Go where? If there's no food in Quahog, what make you think there's going to be food anywhere else?
Peter: Lois, everyone knows that there are two things that can survive a nuclear holocaust: cockroaches and Twinkies, and there's a Twinkie factory in Natick.
Lois: Twinkies?
Peter: Yeah. I saw a story about them on A&E
