Family Guy Quotes
You know, it's times like this where I think if I didn't talk and you were a normal baby, we wouldn't have any of these problems.Brian
Tom Cruise: Nobody walks away from tiny Tom Cruise.
Stewie: Yeah, except for all three of your wives.
God he must be the coolest fat guy in a train conductor's cap in the world!Brian (referring to George R. R. Martin)
How do you think NBA players get all those chicks? They're all great cooks. Except Kobe Bryant. His secret is different.Quagmire
Ugggh! This tastes like Ani DiFranco after a bike ride!Quagmire (referencing an awful Korean Taco)
Hey? You up? Guess where I have a crayon?Stewie (seductively to a little girl at nap time in school)
Stewie: Yes looks like someone's gone at him with a whip.
Brian: That is a perfectly valid way of saying that. Bravo master.
Stewie: Master? Aaand a surprisingly quick erection for Stewie.
Neil: Is this a nut free counter?
Chris: Uh I don't know, my dad's might have been on there at some point.
Oh yeah 'cause you know him so well, shut your faaaaaace.Stewie
Brian: Well I don't know if I'd label myself a drinker. I know I like a cold beer after I mow the lawn.
Peter: There were three lies in that sentence.
Peter: I missed you Brian.
Brian: I missed you too Peter.
Peter: And now Im gonna go upstairs and pee in Meg's bed.
Brian: No, we're going to go pee in Meg's bed.
Peter: Good boy.
Oh god how do you get pink-eye? This is got to be it!Peter