Family Guy

Sundays 9:00 PM on FOX
Family guy
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Alright, but I'll be back in a moment as another movie thing.

Peter

Precious! Wants precious rope!

Peter

That's stupid! I want it.

Peter

What's the name? "Dick?" "Dick" would slide right into that "Glory" hole!

Brian

What! You can't just shove "Shaft" in the "Glory" hole!

Peter

What's gonna fill the "Glory" hole?

Peter

I was wrong to chose sexiness over my wife.

Peter

Mr. Giraffe who lets little boys grind on his rump. Or Mr. Octopus who, who let's little boys grind on his rump.

Peter

Lois: I don't even know what this is anymore!
Peter: It's a strip club that gives away free cookies.

She just wrote "vagina" on her boobs! That doesn't even make any sense!

Peter

Brian: Stewie what are you doing?
Stewie: Being awesome.

That was the right thing to do Peter.

Lois
Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 1961 in total

Family Guy Quotes

Hi, I'm Wilford Brimley and I have diabetes. It hurts me to pee and it causes me to be short with my family. I can't sleep at night. The other day I stubbed my toe and took it out on the dog. And two weeks ago I ran out of vanilla ice cream and struck my wife. Then I find out my wife has been dead for six years. Who the hell did I hit?

Wilford Brimley

Stewie: (Comes into the bedroom) Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma!
Lois: What!?
Stewie: Hi! (Giggling and running out of the room)