Family Guy

Family Guy Quotes (Page 4)

Season 11 Episode 17: "Bigfat"

Peter: We should not rule out the Predator having been the farter.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chris: I always knew one day this would happen.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lois: Who threw out my sequined top?
Stewie: You're 43, accept it!
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: [to his feral self] Don't listen to that Peter! That Peter is a liar! Run, be free! They will enslave you! [makes random grunting noises]
 • Rating: Unrated

Joe: Here you go guys, first time in a while I've had wood in my lap.
Quagmire: Are we supposed to laugh at that? Because it's upsetting.
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: You know, we saved so much trouble not flying commercial I think we came out ahead.
Joe: Sure. Drive right up to the plane.
Peter: Exactly. If we went to Logan, that plane wouldn't crash for another hour at least. [plane crashes behind him] Oh, they made pretty good time!
 • Rating: Unrated

Quagmire: Hang on, you guys! I don't know if I can pull out of this, giggity!
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: A private plane? How'd you swing that, Quagmire?
Quagmire: Let's just say I walked in John Travolta with not-Kelly-Preston.
 • Rating: Unrated

Quagmire: Do like me, say "oui oui!" and tell them you're a friend of Bill Maher's!
Bill Maher: That's how you'll get to watch them pee in Canadian nudie bars!
 • Rating: Unrated

Quagmire: I'd even go so far as to say that a Canadian strip club is the most magical place in the world.
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: I always wanted to go to Canada, but then South Park went so we couldn't go.
 • Rating: Unrated

Joe: You speak French?
Quagmire: Sure, they love me in France!
 • Rating: Unrated

Hank Hill: Dammit! I always wake up before I find out if they can understand the baby!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 11 Episode 15: "Turban Cowboy"

Peter: We are the proud nation where someone can shoot up their entire workplace with a thing, and then the next day nobody talks about banning that thing!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Peter: You know, I actually feel really bad for him, you know he knew 19 guys who died on 9/11? What're the odds of that?
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: So wait, let me get this straight? Sweet hat, obedient wife, and I get to yell "Admiral Ackbar!" when I do stuff? You have got yourself a Muslim.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: You know who'd look funny wearing one of those? The Monopoly guy!
Mahmoud: Correct! Go directly to jail and convert to Islam!
Peter: Hahaha, because they do that!
Mahmoud: Yes, that is what I intended.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bob Costas: I'm Bob Costas, here with Boston Marathon winner Peter Griffin. Peter, how did you do it?
Peter: Bob, I just got in my car and drove it. And when there was a guy in my way, I killed him.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Peter: Hey guys, let's try to recreate this feeling for the rest of our lives with drugs!
 • Rating: Unrated

Quagmire: Whoa, is that Harrison Ford?
Peter: Yeah, it says in the brochures that he assists with all the jumps.
Harrison Ford: Get off my plane!
 • Rating: Unrated

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