Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFamily Guy Season 2 Quotes
Peter: I'm fine! What are ya, coming on to me now?
Lois: Peter, he's not coming on to you. He's trying to tell you that you're healthy.
Doctor: Can it be both?
Wait a second. That's it! They can't make a dead guy pay his bill. All I gotta do is write "deceased" right here where it says name and where it says sex, I'll write "no thanks, I'm dead". It's bulletproof
Peter
I'd like to propose a toast to our neighbors. Sure they might be black, handicapped, and a heartless sex hound, but hey, if they moved out some smelly Hawaiians might move in
Peter
And Joe, I've had new neighbors before, but none of them were half the man you are, and since you're half a man already, that splits them into some kind of fraction I can't even measure
Peter
Quagmire: Tuesdays in the '80s I was always in bed by 8:00 ... and home by 11:00, OH!
Old Lady: What a precious little boy.
Meg: That's my ..uh, uh.. son.
Old Lady: Your son? But you're just a baby yourself. Henry, give the little skank a nice tip
Peter: Wait a minute! Meg, when did you become a teenager?
Lois: She's 16, Peter.
Peter: You knew about this?
That was then and this is now. And this is a chair. And that's a lamp. And you have boobies. And I'm gonna find that trophy!
Peter
Peter [about a handbag]: Oh I love you sweety. What are they like 10 bucks?
Meg: More like eleven...hundred.
Peter: Heh, you wished I loved you that much
What's that? Oh yeah. I love crack, I'm absolutly coo-coo for crack
Stewie
[After seeing the social worker give Mrs. Stevens back her baby]
Chris: So this is where babies come from?
Brian: Yes Chris, this is exactly where babies come from.
Chris [to Lois]: You told me I came out of your vagina
God! Do you people speak every language except english? Yo quiero pancakes! Done ma pancakes! Click click bloody click pancakes!
Stewie [in foster care]