Nate Griffin: Hi, I'm Nate Griffin. I work against my will for your dad.
Lois Pewterschmidt: Oh, yeah? What do you do?
Nate Griffin: Well, let's just say I know my way around a hoe!

Yeah, yeah, Oh they're doing a spin-off. He still plays Joey, but...um...it's not doing that well.

Stewie

As you can see, my family is here and it's game night. We're playing ... sex.

Quagmire

Lois: Peter, are you peeing in that skull?
Peter: No Lois! I'm getting up and walking all the way to the bathroom and doing it there...Pain in the ass.

Lois, we both agreed, remember? If we could only save two, we would leave Meg.

Peter

Tom: A local family is forced out of their home by ghosts. Who they're gonna call?
Diane: (Sighs) Ghostbusters, Tom?
Tom: No, Diane, their insurance company. That's just stupid what you said.

Peter: Between you and me I hear Joe's got a little free time these days. I hear he hasn't touched Bonnie in months
Joe: Peter, you just whispered that to me.

Lois: Oh, Peter, I'm so proud of you. Once again you've brought our family to the edge of the abyss and at the very last minute you saved us all. I love you, honey.
Peter: And I've grown fond of you, Lois. Let's go home.

Brian: So what was it like on the other side?
Stewie: It was alright. I met Jesus.
Brian: Oh, what's he like?
Stewie: Believe it or not, he's Chinese.
Brian: Oh, really.
Stewie: Yeah, and his last name is Hong, Jesus Hong. He said he doesn't know where everyone got Christ.

Brian: You know, we wouldn't be messing around with ghosts if you hadn't desecrated an Indian's remains.
Peter: Probably not a good time to mention I'm using the skull as an athletic cup.

Lois: Stewie! Head for Meg's butt!
Stewie: Have you lost your mind?!

Stewie: (to Jasper) Hey, "Mcbutt the Crime Dog", I heard you and your little chew toy getting it on last night. Keep it down.
Jasper: Sorry, little guy, we were playing Clue and he got me in the bedroom with a lead pipe.

Family Guy Season 4 Quotes

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Al Harrington

How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice little story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protagonist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? No, no, you deserve some time off

Stewie