Chandler: I can blow dry it. I can put gel on it. It doesn't matter, I still wind up with this little cowlicky thing on the middle part of my head. It's so annoying. Does it bug you?
Ross: You bug me.

Ross. You gotta stop. You can't just stare through the peep-hole for three hours. You're gonna get peep-eye.

Chandler

Kate: That infomercial! For the milk carton spout thing! You're the guy who doesn't know how to pour milk!
Joey: I actually can pour milk. But I got you believing that I couldn't. See, that's acting.
Kate: Right at the end, you choked on a cookie.
Joey: Yeah, that was real.

You know, I would storm out of here right now, if I had some money, or a place to go ...

Frank Jr.

(About his briefcase) You know, I forgot the combination to this a year ago? I just carry it around.

Chandler

Phoebe: What, he's 18.
Ross: Exactly, it'll be illegal for him to drink at his own bachelor party.
Joey: Yeah or to get a hooker.
Chandler: Always illegal, Joe.

Joey: So, Ross. If you had a million dollars, what's the first thing you'd buy?
Ross: I'd probably get some municipal bonds, and then put the rest of the money in the bank and live off the interest.
Joey: Well, we've heard from Dr. Fun.

Monica: The only reason you want to go out with me is because of the blond wig, and the big boobs, and the fact that I serve you food.
Pete: Well, if that were true I'd be dating my Aunt Ruth. And the two times we went out, it was just plain awkward.

Alice: You know, I mean, really we do realize that there's an age difference between us?
Phoebe: Oh good! Okay. 'Cause you were acting like you didn't.

Phoebe: (to Joey) You're Frank's best man?!
Joey: I couldn't help it. There love is so pure.
Phoebe: Well then, (to Ross) what about you?! Huh?!
Ross: I'm the ring bearer.

Joey: (To Ross) So, we're walking down the street, and I turn to you and say: "Hey, let's go hang out at Totally Nude Nudes," remember? And then you turn to me and say, "Nah, let's just hang out at your place." Well, that was a nice move, dumb-ass.

Rachel: (About Pete asking Monica out) Well, I mean, are you sure you wanna go out with her? I mean, that ain't a pretty picture in the morning. That wig all in disarray, and boobs flung over the nightstand.
Monica: I mean, really, think about it.
Pete: Oh, I will.

Friends Quotes

Ross: I get home, and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table. And I'm thinking to myself, "Oh my God, what the hell am I doing?" I mean, here I am, I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman, who I care about and who cares about me, and I'm like, what, am I just gonna throw all that away?
Joey: You got all that from saline solution?

Phoebe: (About Ross bringing luggage) How long did you think this barbecue was gonna last?
Ross: I'm going to China.
Phoebe: Jeez, you say one thing, and...
Monica: You're going to China?
Ross: (Not wanting to get into it) It's for the museum. Someone found a bone. We want the bone. They don't want us to have the bone. I'm going to try to persuade them to give us the bone. It's a whole big bone thing.