Monica: What's "PLEH?"
Joey: That's help spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air!
Monica: Ah...what's doofus spelled backwards?

Joey: Smokey Joe here got half way to the highway and collapsed.
Chandler: I have the lung capacity of a two year old. (Starts to light another cigarette)
Monica: Then why are you smoking?
Chandler: Well it's very unsettling.

Phoebe: There is no smoking in my grandmother's cab.
Chandler: In that case, I have to go to the bathroom.

Ross: Forget it, no one's staying.
Chandler: Okay, then I might as well offer to stay.

Rachel: Oh my god! Chandler, you're smoking again.
Chandler: Shut up, you're not my real mom!

Phoebe: I had a dream last night that Rachel and Ross were still together and we were all here hanging out.
Joey: I had the same dream.
Phoebe: Yeah, and no one slept with the Xerox girl.
Joey: Oh, I had the opposite dream.

Joey: (To Chandler and Monica) Hey, does anybody else feel bad about Ross?
Monica: Why? Do you think he's still mad at us?
Chandler: (To Joey) Well, he's probably mad after you called him this morning to borrow his goggles.
Joey: What? Mine aren't tinted.

Monica: Guys. I thought you were taking Ross to the game.
Chandler: We are. He's meeting us here.
Monica: No! Rachel is meeting us here.
Phoebe: Oh come on, they can be in the same room.
Joey: Yeah, you should have been there last night.
Phoebe: Why? What happened now?
Joey: Well Ross was hanging out over at our place, Rachel comes over to borrow some moisturizer from Chandler...
Chandler: Yeah you, how hard is it to say "something?" Rachel came over to borrow "something."

Joey: Hey, can you close that window Chandler? My nipples could cut glass over here.
Phoebe: Really? Mine get me out of tickets!

Joey: You're smoking again?!
Chandler: Well, actually, yesterday I was smoking again. Today, I'm, I'm smoking still.

Phoebe: What town are we near?
Monica: Freemont! Westmont! Westburgh!
Phoebe: Okay, why are you answering?

Joey: (Trying to unlock the car) Relax okay? I, I, I can get this open. Anybody have a coat hanger?
Chandler: Oh, I do! Uh, no, wait a minute, I took it out of my shirt when I put it on this morning.
Monica: So, if you're parents hadn't got divorced, you'd be able to answer a question like a normal person?

Friends Quotes

Rachel: Daddy! Daddy listen to me! It's like all my life everyone's told me, "You're a shoe! You're a shoe! You're a shoe!" Well, what if I don't want to be a shoe? What if I wanna be a purse or a hat? No I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a hat. It's a metaphor Daddy!
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.

Chandler: You knew about this?
Joey: Uh... ya know, knowledge is a tricky thing.