Friends

Friends Quotes (Page 11)

Season 3 Episode 11: "The One Where Chandler Can't Remember Which Sister"

Ross: What's Joey gonna do when he finds out you blew his sister off with a letter?
Chandler: That's the part where you tell him I moved to France. (Ross looks at Chandler) ... When actually I'll be in Cuba.
Ross: All right, look, look, you've got to do this yourself, okay. In person. At least you know her name. You just go to the house and you ask for Mary-Angela, okay. When which ever one she is comes to the door, you take her for a walk, you let her down easy.
Chandler: What if Mary-Angela comes to the door and I ask for Mary-Angela?
Ross: Where in Cuba?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Rachel: (To Mark) Well, then. So I'm just gonna go back to talking to my friend here, you can go back to enjoying your little hamburger.
Stranger: Just one other thing.
Rachel: Yes?
Stranger: I work at Bloomingdale's, I might know of a job possibility if you're interested.
Rachel: Do you want my pickle?
 • Rating: Unrated

Ross: Am I? Am I? Am I out of my mind? Am I loosing my senses?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Joey: Oh My God. How many of these have you had? These are pure vodka.
Chandler: Yup, Jello just like mom used to make.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chandler: Hey, anybody got a length of rope about six feet long with a little noose at the end?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Joey: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.
Chandler: Yes, but you ended up having sex with both of them that afternoon.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ross: (About Mark offering Rachel a job) Well, I'm just saying, I mean why else would he just, ya know, swoop in out of nowhere for no reason.
Rachel: To be nice.
Ross: Hey, Joey. Are men ever nice to strange women for no reason?
Joey: No, only for sex.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cookie: Hey. What are we drinking over here?
Phoebe: Well, I have, ah, vodka and cranberry juice.
Cookie: No kidding. That's the exact same drink I made myself right after I shot my husband.
Phoebe: Wow. Okay, I don't know how to talk to you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 10: "The One Where Rachel Quits"

Gunther: Rachel, remind me to review with you which pot is regular and which pot is decaf.
Rachel: Can't I just look at the handles?
Gunther: You would think.
 • Rating: Unrated

Gunther: Next I'm going to show you why we don't just trap spiders under coffee mugs and leave them there.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Little Girl: You're a scrud.
Ross: What's a scrud?
Little Girl: Why don't you look in the mirror, scrud?
Ross: I don't have to; I can just look at you.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Phoebe: You saved them! You guys! Oh God, you're the best!
Chandler: It's like "Night of the Living Dead Christmas Trees."
 • Rating: Unrated

Rachel: Ah that's funny! You're a funny guy Chandler! And you know what else is really funny?
Chandler: (Hesitantly) Something else I might have said?
 • Rating: Unrated

Monica: You broke a little girl's leg?
Ross: I know, I feel horrible, okay.
Chandler: Says here a Muppet got whacked on Sesame Street last night. Where exactly were you around tenish?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ross: Just admit it Chandler, you have no backhand.
Chandler: Excuse me, little one, I have a very solid backhand.
Ross: Shielding your face and shrieking like a girl... is not a backhand.
Chandler: I was shrieking... like a Marine.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rachel: Well, ya know that's actually a really good idea, because that way they'll be closer to the mugs. Y'know what, you should have the other waitresses do that too.
Gunther: They already do. That's why they call it the "tray spot."
Rachel: Gee, I always heard them talk about that, I just always thought that it was a club they went to. Oh God, I'm sorry.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chandler: (About Rachel quitting her job) Does this mean we're gonna have to start paying for coffee?
 • Rating: Unrated

Gunther: Do you remember when you first came here, how you spent two weeks getting trained by another waitress?
Rachel: Oh, sure! Do you need me to train somebody new?
Gunther: (He laughs) Good one. Actually, ah, Terry wants you to take the training again, whenever.
Rachel: (To Chandler) Eh, do you believe that?
Chandler: (He stops to think) Yeah?
 • Rating: Unrated

Phoebe: I am against innocent trees being cut down in their prime, and their, their corpses grotesquely dressed in like tinsel and twinkly lights. Hey, how do you sleep at night?
Joey: Well, I'm pretty tired from lugging the trees around all day. Hey, Phoebe listen, you got this all wrong. Those trees were born to be Christmas trees, their fulfilling their life purpose, by, by making people happy.
Phoebe: Really?
Chandler: Yes. Yes, and ah, ah, the trees are happy too, because for most of them, it's their only chance to see New York.
 • Rating: Unrated

Gunther: (to Rachel) And when you have a second later, I wanna show you why we don't just trap spiders under coffee mugs and leave them there.
 • Rating: Unrated

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