Friends

Friends Season 1 Quotes (Page 10)

Season 1 Episode 15: "The One with the Stoned Guy"

Rachel: Oh! I see. And I've sort of been maintaining my amateur status so that I can waitress in the Olympics.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chandler: I just don't want to be one of those guys who sits in his office until twelve o'clock at night worrying about the WENUS.
Rachel: The WENUS?
Chandler: Weekly estimated net usage system. It's a processing term.
Rachel: Oh, that WENUS.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chandler: Can you see my nipples through this shirt?
Rachel: No, but don't worry. I'm sure they're still there.
 • Rating: Unrated

Monica: (About the appetizers) Hey, maybe this'll cheer you up.
Chandler: Oh, you know, um, I had a grape about five hours ago, so I'd better split this with you.
Monica: It's supposed to be that small. It's a pre-appetizer. The French call it an amouz-bouche.
Chandler: Well, it is amouzing...
 • Rating: Unrated

Monica: Is it better than the other salmon mousse?
Joey: It's creamier.
Monica: Yeah, well, is that better?
Joey: I don't know. We're talking about whipped fish, Monica. I'm just happy I'm keeping it down, ya know?
 • Rating: Unrated

Monica: Wendy bailed. I have no waitress.
Rachel: Oh... that's too bad. Bye bye. (Starts to leave)
Monica: Ten dollars an hour.
Rachel: No.
Monica: Twelve dollars an hour.
Rachel: Mon. I wish I could, but I've made plans to walk around.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 14: "The One with the Candy Hearts"

Joey: C'mon, man, she's needy. She's vulnerable. I'm thinking, cha-ching!
 • Rating: Unrated

Janice: (To Chandler) I bought you something.
Chandler: Is it loaded?
 • Rating: Unrated

Carol: (To Ross) All you need is a woman who likes men and you're set.
(Ross looks at a beautiful woman passing by) Not her.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chandler: Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, okay? The Rachel thing's not happening, your ex-wife is a lesbian. I don't think we need a third.
 • Rating: Unrated

Phoebe: (While doing the ritual) Ok. All right. Now we need the semen of a righteous man.
Rachel: Ok, Pheebs, you know what, if we had that, we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Joey: She said she wants to slather my body with stuff and then lick it off. I'm not even sure what slathering is, but I definitely want to be a part of it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Monica: Phoebe, you can go out with a creepy guy any night of the year. I know I do.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rachel: How do we end up with these jerks? We're good people.
Monica: I don't know. I think we're some kind of magnets.
Phoebe: I know I am. That's why I can't wear a digital watch.
 • Rating: Unrated

Janice: So do we have the best friends, or what?
Chandler: Joey's not a friend, he's ... a stupid man who left us his credit card. Another drink? Some dessert? A big-screen TV?
 • Rating: Unrated

Chandler: How can I dump this woman on Valentine's Day?
Joey: I don't know. You dumped her on New Year's.
Chandler: Oh man, in my next life I'm coming back as a toilet brush.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Monica: You can not do this.
Rachel: Do what? Do what?
Monica: Roger wants to take her out tomorrow night.
Rachel: No! Phoebes! Don't you remember why you dumped the guy?
Phoebe: 'Cause he was creepy, and mean, and a little frightening... Alright, still, it's nice to have a date on Valentine's Day!
 • Rating: Unrated

Chandler: (To Joey) Okay, now, remember, no trading. You get the pretty one, I get the mess.
 • Rating: Unrated

Joey: No, no, no, don't! I've been waiting for, like, forever to go out with Lorraine. Just calm down.
Chandler: Calm down? Calm down? You set me up with the woman that I've dumped twice in the last five months!
 • Rating: Unrated

Phoebe: Oh! You know my friend Abby who shaves her head? She said that if you want to break the bad boyfriend cycle, you can do like a cleansing ritual.
Rachel: Pheebs, this woman is voluntarily bald.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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