Friends

Friends Season 1 Quotes (Page 11)

Season 1 Episode 14: "The One with the Candy Hearts"

Phoebe: Okay. We can, um, we can burn the stuff they gave us.
Rachel: Or?
Phoebe: Or... or we can chant and dance around naked, you know, with sticks.
Monica: Burning's good.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chandler: Oh, what a crappy night!
Janice: Although, I have enjoyed the fact that, uh your shirt's been sticking out of your zipper ever since you came back from the bathroom.
 • Rating: Unrated

Phoebe: Okay, so now we need, um, sage branches and the sacramental wine.
Monica: All I have is, is oregano and a Fresca.
 • Rating: Unrated

Monica: Look, here's a picture of Scotty Jared naked.
Rachel: Hey he's wearing a sweater.
Monica: No.
 • Rating: Unrated

Carol: Uh, I don't think she's in the bathroom. Her coat is gone.
Ross: Well maybe it's cold in there. Or maybe I screwed up the first date I had in nine years.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kristin: (About Carol and Susan) Who are they?
Ross: The blond woman is my ex-wife, and the woman touching her is her... close, personal friend.
Kristin: You mean they're lovers.
Ross: If you wanna put a label on it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 13: "The One with the Boobies"

Rachel: You're right! I mean- you're right! It wasn't just the Weebles, but it was the Weeble Play Palace, and- and the Weebles' Cruise Ship. Oh, which
had this little lifeboat for the Weebles to wobble in.
 • Rating: Unrated

Chandler: You know, I don't know why you're so embarrassed. They were very nice boobies.
Rachel: Nice? They were nice? I mean, that's it? I mean, mittens are nice.
Chandler: (Illustrating) Okay. Rock. Hard place. Me.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Chandler: If I turn into my parents, I'll either be an alcoholic blond chasing after 20 year old boys or... I'll end up like my mom.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Rachel: Tit for tat.
Chandler: Well I'm not showing you my tat.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rachel: (Angry) What?
Chandler: (To Rachel) That's a relatively open weave and I can still see your... nippular area.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Roger: Listen guys, it was great seeing you again. Mon, um, easy on those cookies, okay? Remember, they're just food, they're not love.
 • Rating: Unrated

Phoebe: Hey, Joey. What's going on?
Joey: Clear the tracks for the boobie payback express. Next stop: Rachel Green. (He goes into the bathroom. We hear a scream and he comes out, closely followed by Monica in a towel)
Monica: Joey!! What the hell were you doing?!
Joey: Sorry. Wrong boobies.
 • Rating: Unrated

Joey: (To his father on sleeping with his girlfriend) I don't care how old you are, as long as you're under my roof you're gonna live by my rules. And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend. Now go to my room!
 • Rating: Unrated

Joey: I can't sleep with my underwear on.
Chandler: Well you're gonna!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Chandler: I'd like to believe that when the right woman comes along, you will have the courage and the guts to say "No thanks, I'm married."
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Rachel: You were supposed to be in there so I could see your thing.
Chandler: Sorry, my thing was in there with me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ross: What were you doing seeing her boobies?
Chandler: It was an accident. It's not like I was across the street with a telescope and a box of doughnuts.
 • Rating: Unrated

Phoebe: (About Roger) I know, I know. So sweet... and so complicated. And for a shrink, he's not too shrinky, ya know?
Monica: So, you think you'll do it on his couch?
Phoebe: Oh, I don't know, I don't know. I think that's a little weird, ya know? Vinyl.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rachel: Any of you guys want anything else?
Chandler: Oh, yes, could I have one of those--
Rachel: No, I'm sorry, we're all out of those. Anybody else?
 • Rating: Unrated

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