Louisa: Are you aware that possession of an illegal exotic is punishable by up to four years in prison and confiscation of the animal?
Phoebe: Oh my God! You'd put that poor little creature in jail?

Rachel: It would be different if I had somebody.
Ross: Really? What happened to, "forget relationships, I'm done with men"? The whole penis embargo?

Rachel: Oh, I beg to differ. The Pictionary incident?
Monica: That was not an incident! I was gesturing, and the plate slipped out of my hand.

Joey: You know what, you guys? It's their first time, why don't we just forget about the money, alright?
Monica: Hell no, we'll pay!
Phoebe: Okay, Monica? I had another answer all ready.

Phoebe: (To Joey) Oh I see, so then, you were lying.
Joey: About what?
Phoebe: About how good your cards were.
Joey: I was bluffing.
Phoebe: Aha! And what is bluffing? Is it not another word for lying?

Phoebe: (Reading Rachel's mail) Wow!
Rachel: What?
Phoebe: Your Visa bill is huge!

Rachel: Hmmm, it's so typical: 'Ooh... I'm a man, ooh... I have a penis, ooh... I have to win money to observe my power over women.'

Ross: Rach, did you proofread these?
Rachel: Uh. yeah, why?
Ross: Uh, nothing, I'm sure they'll be impressed with your excellent compuper skills.
Rachel: Oh my God. Oh, do you think it's on all of them?
Joey: Oh no. I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few.

Rachel: (After winning a hand of poker. Sing-song to Ross) I have got your money, and you'll never see it, and your fly's still open.
(Pause)
Rachel: Ha, I made you look.

Rachel: Can you believe what a jerk Ross was being?
Monica: Yeah, I know. He can get really competitive.
Phoebe: Ha, haha.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: Oh, hello, kettle? This is Monica. You're black.

Rachel: Boy, you really can't stand to lose, can you? Your whole face is getting red... little veins popping out on your temple...
Phoebe: Plus that shirt doesn't really match those pants.

Phoebe: Hey, you know what I just realised? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J'. Coincidence?
Chandler: Hey, that's 'joincidence' with a 'C'.

Friends Season 1 Quotes

Chandler: Take off their hats!
Phoebe: Popes into a Volkswagen! (Chandler nods) Oh, I love that joke!

You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection. (Thinking) Gum would be perfection? Gum would be perfection. Could have said, gum would be nice, or, I'll have a stick, but no no no no. For me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself.

Chandler