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Louisa: Are you aware that possession of an illegal exotic is punishable by up to four years in prison and confiscation of the animal?
Phoebe: Oh my God! You'd put that poor little creature in jail?

Rachel: It would be different if I had somebody.
Ross: Really? What happened to, "forget relationships, I'm done with men"? The whole penis embargo?

Rachel: Oh, I beg to differ. The Pictionary incident?
Monica: That was not an incident! I was gesturing, and the plate slipped out of my hand.

Joey: You know what, you guys? It's their first time, why don't we just forget about the money, alright?
Monica: Hell no, we'll pay!
Phoebe: Okay, Monica? I had another answer all ready.

Phoebe: (To Joey) Oh I see, so then, you were lying.
Joey: About what?
Phoebe: About how good your cards were.
Joey: I was bluffing.
Phoebe: Aha! And what is bluffing? Is it not another word for lying?

Phoebe: (Reading Rachel's mail) Wow!
Rachel: What?
Phoebe: Your Visa bill is huge!

Rachel: Hmmm, it's so typical: 'Ooh... I'm a man, ooh... I have a penis, ooh... I have to win money to observe my power over women.'

Ross: Rach, did you proofread these?
Rachel: Uh. yeah, why?
Ross: Uh, nothing, I'm sure they'll be impressed with your excellent compuper skills.
Rachel: Oh my God. Oh, do you think it's on all of them?
Joey: Oh no. I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few.

Rachel: (After winning a hand of poker. Sing-song to Ross) I have got your money, and you'll never see it, and your fly's still open.
(Pause)
Rachel: Ha, I made you look.

Rachel: Can you believe what a jerk Ross was being?
Monica: Yeah, I know. He can get really competitive.
Phoebe: Ha, haha.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: Oh, hello, kettle? This is Monica. You're black.

Rachel: Boy, you really can't stand to lose, can you? Your whole face is getting red... little veins popping out on your temple...
Phoebe: Plus that shirt doesn't really match those pants.

Phoebe: Hey, you know what I just realised? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J'. Coincidence?
Chandler: Hey, that's 'joincidence' with a 'C'.

Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 469 in total

Friends Season 1 Quotes

Phoebe: Okay, Joey, your bet.
Joey: I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. (The girls look at him, confused.) Oh, I'm out.

Monica: Hey, Joey! What would you do if you were omnipotent?
Joey: Probably kill myself.
Monica: Excuse me?
Joey: Hey, if Little Joey's dead, I got no reason to live.
Ross: Uh Joey... omnipotent.
Joey: You are? I'm so sorry. (To Chandler) I didn't know, I thought it was one of those theoretical questions.

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