Ross: (About Marcel's humping) You'd think you guys would be just a little more understanding, you know?
Phoebe: I know. But we're not.

Chandler: How about Joey Paponi?
Joey: No, still too ethnic. My agent thinks I should have a name that's more neutral.
Chandler: Joey Switzerland?

Teacher: Okay people. Now everyone grab a partner.
Phoebe: Okay. (Playing the pointing game) "And my dead mother said you are it." I'm with Rachel.

(On the phone) Hi. Yes. This is Monica Geller. Um, I believe I'm taking some classes with you and I was wondering if you could tell me what they were.

Monica

Monica: I'm going to tap class.
Rachel: What, what, so that you can dance with the woman that stole your credit card?
Monica: This woman's got my life, I should get to see who she is.
Rachel: Go to the post office! I'm sure her picture's up! Okay, Monica, ya know what, honey? You're kinda losing it here! I mean, this is really becoming like a weird obsession thing.

(Dramatically) It's madness, madness, I tell you! For the love of God, Monica, don't do it! (In her normal voice) Thank you.

Phoebe

Rachel: Monica, would you calm down? The credit card people said you only had to pay for the stuff that you bought.
Monica: Still, it's just such reckless spending.
Ross: I think when somebody steals your credit card they've kind of already thrown caution to the wind.

Monica: I don't know what I'm going to do without you! Who's going to crash with me the embassy parties? Who is going take me to the Big Apple Circus?
Fake Monica: Monica, I started my day by peeing in front of twenty five women, and you're worried who is going to take you to the Big Apple Circus?!
Monica: Not worried, just wondering.

Teacher: You can come up to the front and dance with me.
Monica: Why don't I just take off my clothes, and have a nightmare?

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