Friends Season 1 Quotes
Phoebe: (About Roger) I know, I know. So sweet... and so complicated. And for a shrink, he's not too shrinky, ya know?
Monica: So, you think you'll do it on his couch?
Phoebe: Oh, I don't know, I don't know. I think that's a little weird, ya know? Vinyl.
Ross: What were you doing seeing her boobies?
Chandler: It was an accident. It's not like I was across the street with a telescope and a box of doughnuts.
(To his father on sleeping with his girlfriend) I don't care how old you are, as long as you're under my roof you're gonna live by my rules. And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend. Now go to my room!
Joey
Rachel: Any of you guys want anything else?
Chandler: Oh, yes, could I have one of those--
Rachel: No, I'm sorry, we're all out of those. Anybody else?
Come on, I'll show you to my room... That sounds so weird when it's not followed by "No thanks, it's late."
Chandler
Monica: (Fighting with Ross about what Roger said) Ya know, all these years, I thought you were on my side. But maybe what you were doing was sucking up to Mom and Dad so they'd keep liking you better!
Ross: Hey, I married a lesbian to make you look good!
Phoebe: Oh oh! Roger's having a dinner thing and he wanted me to invite you guys. (Chandler laughs) So what's going on?
Monica: Nothing, um, it's just, um... It's Roger.
Ross: I dunno, there's just something about...
Chandler: Basically we just feel that he's...
Rachel: We hate that guy.
All: Yeah. Hate him.
Ross: We're sorry, Pheebs, we're sorry.
Phoebe: Uh-huh. Okay. Okay, don't you think, maybe, though, it's just that he's so perceptive that it freaks you out?
All: ...No, we hate him.
Mr. Tribbiani: Joe, your dad's in love big time. And the worst part of it is, it's with two different women.
Joey: Oh man. Please tell me one of them is Ma.
Mr. Tribbiani: Remember when you were a little kid, I used to take you to the navy yard and show you the big ships?
Joey: Since then?!
Mr. Tribbiani: No, it's only been six years. I just wanted to put a nice memory in your head so you'd know that I wasn't always such a terrible guy.
Phoebe: Ooh, this is cool... It says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta.
Chandler: And we're done with the yogurt.
(About Rachel and Paolo) What am I supposed to do, huh? Call immigration? (Pauses, looks suddenly inspired) I could call immigration!
Ross
Chandler: That's patio furniture.
Joey: So what? People are like gonna come in and think: "Uh-oh, I'm outside again"?
