Friends Season 1 Quotes
She said she wants to slather my body with stuff and then lick it off. I'm not even sure what slathering is, but I definitely want to be a part of it.
Joey
Phoebe: (While doing the ritual) Ok. All right. Now we need the semen of a righteous man.
Rachel: Ok, Pheebs, you know what, if we had that, we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place.
Phoebe, you can go out with a creepy guy any night of the year. I know I do.
Monica
Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, okay? The Rachel thing's not happening, your ex-wife is a lesbian. I don't think we need a third.
Chandler
Chandler: How can I dump this woman on Valentine's Day?
Joey: I don't know. You dumped her on New Year's.
Chandler: Oh man, in my next life I'm coming back as a toilet brush.
Janice: So do we have the best friends, or what?
Chandler: Joey's not a friend, he's ... a stupid man who left us his credit card. Another drink? Some dessert? A big-screen TV?
(To Ross) All you need is a woman who likes men and you're set.
Carol
(Ross looks at a beautiful woman passing by) Not her.
Rachel: How do we end up with these jerks? We're good people.
Monica: I don't know. I think we're some kind of magnets.
Phoebe: I know I am. That's why I can't wear a digital watch.
Phoebe: Okay. We can, um, we can burn the stuff they gave us.
Rachel: Or?
Phoebe: Or... or we can chant and dance around naked, you know, with sticks.
Monica: Burning's good.
Joey: No, no, no, don't! I've been waiting for, like, forever to go out with Lorraine. Just calm down.
Chandler: Calm down? Calm down? You set me up with the woman that I've dumped twice in the last five months!
Chandler: Oh, what a crappy night!
Janice: Although, I have enjoyed the fact that, uh your shirt's been sticking out of your zipper ever since you came back from the bathroom.
(To Joey) Okay, now, remember, no trading. You get the pretty one, I get the mess.
Chandler
