Friends

Friends Season 1 Quotes (Page 2)

Season 1 Episode 24: "The One Where Rachel Finds Out"

Joey: Oh, it was amazing. You know how you always think you're great in bed?
Chandler: The fact that you'd even ask that question shows how little you know me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Monica: Hey, great skirt! Birthday present?
Rachel: Yeah.
Monica: Oh, from who?
Rachel: From you. I exchanged the blouse you got me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Monica: (About Ross's feelings for Rachel) Did you have any idea?
Rachel: No! None! I mean, my first night in the city, he mentioned something about asking me out, but nothing ever happened, so I just... (To Joey) Well, what else did he say? I mean, does he, like, want to go out with me?
Joey: Well, given that he's desperately in love with you, he probably wouldn't mind getting a cup of coffee or something.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 23: "The One with the Birth"

Rachel: I thought a gynecologist would have no trouble dating women.
 • Rating: Unrated

Carol: (About her contractions) I love them! Each one's like a little party in my uterus!
 • Rating: Unrated

Phoebe: Susan, he looks just like you!
Susan: (Beaming) Thanks.
Rachel: Oh God, I can't believe one of us actually has one of these!
Chandler: I know. I still am one of these.
 • Rating: Unrated

Carol: What does he look like?
Ross: (Studying him) Kind of like my Uncle Ed covered in Jello.
 • Rating: Unrated

Monica: Is there something fundamentally unmarryable about me?
Chandler: (Scrambling) Uh...
Monica: Well?
Chandler: (Pulling an imaginary ripcord) Dear God, this parachute is a knapsack!
 • Rating: Unrated

Monica: Joey, what are you gonna do when you have a baby?
Joey: I'm gonna be in the waiting room, handing out cigars!
Chandler: Yes, Joey's made arrangements to have his baby in a movie from the '50s.
 • Rating: Unrated

Monica: (Seeing a woman with newborn twins) No fair! I don't even have one! How come they get two?
Chandler: You'll get one.
Monica: Oh yeah? When?
Chandler: All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?
Monica: Why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Chandler: Oh, no, no. I just meant hypothetically.
Monica: Okay, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Chandler: No, no, no.
Monica: What is it? Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me?
Chandler: Uh, uh.
Monica: Well?
Chandler: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack!
(Chandler throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in, pretending he can't open his parachute.)
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Phoebe: (About Ross and Susan arguing) There are babies coming into the world in this very building and your negative fighting noises are not the first thing they should hear!
Ross: Yeah, Susan.
Phoebe: Don't make me do this again, I do not like my voice like this!
 • Rating: Unrated

Monica: I will always have gum.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Phoebe: (Singing) And they found their bodies the very next day.
They found their bodies the very next day.
Ross & Susan: (Banging on the door) Help! Help!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Phoebe: (Singing) They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch.
But soon they'll grow up and resent you so much.
Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why.
You cry and you cry and you cry.
And you cry and you ...

(Ross gives her some money) Oh, thank you Ross.
Ross: Yeah, I'm paying you to stop.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Monica: I want a baby.
Chandler: Not tonight, honey. I got an early day tomorrow.
Monica: Get up. Come on. Let's get some coffee.
Chandler: Oh, ok, because we never do that.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ross: Look, Carol never threw me out of a room before you came along.
Susan: Yeah? Well, there are a lot of things Carol never did before I came along.
 • Rating: Unrated

Susan: You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. Who am I? There's Mother's Day. There's Father's Day. There's no Lesbian Lover Day.
Ross: Every day is Lesbian Lover Day.
 • Rating: Unrated

Susan: Phoebe, what do you see?
Phoebe: Well Susan, I see what appears to be a dark vent. Yes, it is in fact a dark vent.
 • Rating: Unrated

Monica: Tell him.
Rachel: No.
Phoebe: Tell him, tell him.
Monica: Just... please tell him.
Rachel: Shut up!
Chandler: Tell me what?
Monica: Look at you, you won't even look at him.
Chandler: (Sarcastically) Oh, come on tell me. I could use another reason why women won't look at me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Franzblau: I try not to let my work affect my personal life, but it's hard, when you... do what I do. It's like uh...Well, for instance, what do you do?
Rachel: I'm a waitress
Dr. Franzblau: Okay, all right, well aren't there times when you come home at the end of the day, and you're just like, "If I see one more cup of coffee..."
 • Rating: Unrated

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