Elijah: To be clear, I'm not offering to pay for anything.
Hannah: Nothing?
Elijah: No.

Jessa: All right, Hannah. Listen. Regardless of everything that happened, you are still my dear friend. I can try and forget about you. It just doesn't work.
Hannah: Will you please be quiet? I mean, come on. Your "dear friend"? We haven't acted like friends in a long time. In fact, maybe not ever. I don't think we ever acted like real friends.

Well, maybe you're a psychopath for just coming over here. And how are you gonna be a therapist if you can't even figure out what's going on in your own life, which is that I clearly didn't tell you for a reason, which is that I don't care what you think. And I don't care about your feelings, 'cause I don't really care about you anymore, Jessa.

Hannah

Jessa: And, for the record, I am a sociopath. But you are a fucking psychopath. And it's so much worse. Everything that we did together happened, whether you want to believe it or not. Whether you want to remember it or not. And I am here and I know you. You can't just erase people. You can't just erase me. That's not how it works.
Hannah: I don't care anymore.
Jessa: Rest in peace.

I bet none of my ancestors were even in the Wild West! Half my fucking wedding theme is a lie!

Marnie

The liar is you.

Pawnshop owner [to Marnie]

I love this bitchy business so much!

Elijah

All I’ve ever done to anybody is love them.

Marnie

I have 14 Emmys. I know when someone's keeping a secret from me.

Dill

Elijah: Well, you've gotten yourself into quite a predicament, Dillard. Just makin' trouble. Look at you. Look at your sad little outfit.
Dill: Look at your sad outfit. What happened to us?

Do you have anything to eat that doesn't have an activity center on the back?

Dill

So this is the most valuable thing I own. But I'm selling it because my freedom is more precious to me than a precious locket from the 1870s, so here goes. Wild Bill Hickock gave that to my great-great-grandmother. I come from a long line of women who choose terrible men, but that's ending now.

Marnie

Girls Quotes

Ok I think I got everything, testicles, spectacles, wallet, and watch.

Hannah

Jessa: It's pot, do you want some?
Shoshanna: Oh no, I'm hyper enough already.