As soon as I figure out the difference between slander and libel, I'm suing you.

Sue

Student: Hey, Ms. Sylvester, let's get physical.
Sue: Not really my type, but I like that attitude.

I haven't had a drink in 45 minutes.

April

I hate Duke like I hate the Nazis.

Burt Hummel

I can't be your dad, but I'll be her hero for as long as she'll take me.

Burt Hummel

On assembly days, I arrange for the rest of the school to be fumigated, so the gym is the only place with clean air.

Sue

I feel like the guy who set of Liza and David Gest.

Kurt

Can you go now? I'm a half hour behind on my moisturizer routine, and I need to wake up early.

Kurt

Finn: I miss getting hit.
Kurt: Pure boyish insanity.

Will: The liquor cabinet is off limits.
April: No worries. I brought my own.

Don't sweat that old chair. I have a lovely chaise picked out.

Kurt

Weren't roller rinks outlawed in like 1981 for being totally lame?

Santana

Glee Season 1 Quotes

Some people like to film themselves getting physical with their partner. I happen to enjoy revisiting the impeccable form of my jazzercise routines.

Sue

Being a good father is all about guts. And you've got about six months to see if you have any.

Will's dad