As soon as I figure out the difference between slander and libel, I'm suing you.


Student: Hey, Ms. Sylvester, let's get physical.
Sue: Not really my type, but I like that attitude.

I haven't had a drink in 45 minutes.


I hate Duke like I hate the Nazis.

Burt Hummel

I can't be your dad, but I'll be her hero for as long as she'll take me.

Burt Hummel

On assembly days, I arrange for the rest of the school to be fumigated, so the gym is the only place with clean air.


I feel like the guy who set of Liza and David Gest.


Can you go now? I'm a half hour behind on my moisturizer routine, and I need to wake up early.


Finn: I miss getting hit.
Kurt: Pure boyish insanity.

Will: The liquor cabinet is off limits.
April: No worries. I brought my own.

Don't sweat that old chair. I have a lovely chaise picked out.


Weren't roller rinks outlawed in like 1981 for being totally lame?


Glee Season 1 Quotes

When I pulled my hamstring, I went to a misogynist.


You cant feed a child sheet music, Will. I suppose you could, but they'd be dead in a month.