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Glee

Quinn: You wanna name our daughter Jack Daniels? It's a girl.
Puck: Okay, fine. Jackie Daniels.

When I was little and I was sad, my dads would bring me a glass of water. It got to a point where I didn't know if I was sad or thirsty.

Rachel

Kurt: She changes her look faster than Britt changes sexual partners.
Brittany: It's true.

I know who I am and I'm not allowed to show it. It's like Communism.

Tina

My mom won't even let me watch Twilight. She says she thinks Kristen Stewart seems like a bitch.

Tina

American teens are coming down with an enormous case of Twilight fever.

Figgins

I'm never gonna dunk a basketball or kill a lion. I need to focus on dreams I can make come true.

Artie

Bryan: Should I lock the door?
Sue: No, I've got a secret room upstairs. Like Letterman.

Bryan: You ever heard of the term anger sex?
Sue: The only kind I know.

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