When I went out with that male nurse, I found out that I still have a soft spot for dating gay guys.


What if she's pregnant? Would we raise the baby together? Would we raise it as a group? Group baby, is that a thing?


Max: Pen I think you know me, we've made love.
Penny: Ugh.
Max: I think you ugh-mazing!

Colin Hanks: There's 2 things I always say. 1: Yes, that Hanks. 2: Fame doesn't change you, it changes your friends.

Penny: Ever since she's been hanging out with Avi's crew all she eats is pills and powders.
Jane: Sounds like my Vegas diet.

Ooo floor bacon!


Dave is Freddy Krueger-ing us in our dreams...with sex.


Drunk Jane loves a good cleaning.


Dave: Whore's bath?
Penny: Ah yeah David, I did take a whore's bath okay? I had a one night stand and didn't have time to shower so did I rub some dryer sheets on my pits and throw some water on my hush at Au Bon Pain? Yes I did.

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