Happy Endings

Happy Endings

Fridays 9:30 PM on ABC

Latest Review

Season: 3 2

Happy Endings Season 2 Quotes (Page 6)

Season 2 Episode 11: "Meat the Parrots"

Alex: Why would a stoner have a racist homophobic bird?
 • Rating: Unrated
Jane: Dave I'm not sure it's easy hearing your dad has a new girlfriend and that Penny got rotary dialed on your bumper pool table.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Penny: My dad got bangs!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Jane: Wait Big Dave is coming to town? God I love your dad!
Alex: Ugh, the man hates me for no reason.
Everyone: You left Dave at the altar!!!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 2 Episode 10: "The Shrink, the Dare, Her Date and Her Brother"

Jane: You look like Jamiroquai before labor day.
Max: You look like Carol Brady right before she got arrested for molesting Bobby.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Max: How do you think Jane would feel about high-waisted pants?
Brad: I think she would have to be high and wasted.
 • Rating: Unrated
Brad: Dude I need your help.
Max: Alright but it's gonna cost you.
Brad: You owe me eight thousand dollars.
 • Rating: Unrated
Max: You gotta relax dude, therapy is cool.
 • Rating: Unrated
Penny: You guys are so vain, you probably think this sweater's about you.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Brad: Seriously I got stuck with the check again? What's the point of having white friends?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 2 Episode 9: "Grinches Be Crazy"

Brad [to Jane]: I can't believe Max is a better person than you.
 • Rating: Unrated
Max: Hey Gar? Why don't you take five from feelin up the kid's mom and throwing salmon down your throat and buy him a Go Kart or something!
Gary: Of course! Whatever he wants!
 • Rating: Unrated
Gita [to Brad and Jane]: Between you and me, I don't think he should be Santa. He has many drawers...sinful drawers.
 • Rating: Unrated
Max [to Penny]: I wouldn't turn my nose up to dating a mugger, they're entrepreneurs.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Mugger: Lady gimmer your purse!
Penny: What? Lady? I'm only 30. That's like mid to late 20s!
 • Rating: Unrated
Dave: So Al, you're really going with the coupon books that no one wants again this year? It's the gift that keeps on disappointing.
 • Rating: Unrated
Brad [to Jane]: I love Indecent Proposaling with you!
 • Rating: Unrated
Penny: Really you want to play santa? Because you hate holidays and you hate kids.
Max: Yeah but I love making extravagant promises that I don't have to fulfill. Plus Penny I really need the cash, my limo business has hit a few schnags.
 • Rating: Unrated
Penny: I'd rather be surprised by a disappointment than happy with what I expected. It's why I never ask if a pool is heated.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Penny: Egg nog is delish! Dairy and liquor are really one of those underrated combinations.
 • Rating: Unrated

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Season: 3 2
Total Season 2 Quotes: 148
Total Happy Endings Quotes: 330
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