If the sex is crazy on a regular night, imagine what the VD sex is gonna be like.


It's like he's squatting in a vacant Bennigans.


It's 2012, welcome to sexytown, population Jeffrey!


Old brad didn't take baths because his tub was filled with 311 CDs.


It's kind of my date V, I get V in this V.


I call it my emergen-tee.


You guys are addicted to these addiction shows.

Dave [to Alex and Max]

I don't want no scrub, scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me.


Don't change for a guy, meet a guy and change him.


Every choice you make in your life about everything is monumentally wrong.

Jane [to Penny]

I can't believe we thought Hop Sings was rentin' tush!


Stop baby bro-ing me, you're not Johnny Drama.

Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 148 in total

Happy Endings Season 2 Quotes

Dave: Whore's bath?
Penny: Ah yeah David, I did take a whore's bath okay? I had a one night stand and didn't have time to shower so did I rub some dryer sheets on my pits and throw some water on my hush at Au Bon Pain? Yes I did.

You're sweating on my bruschetta.

Jane [to Brad]
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