Favorite House Quotes
We finally know what Tuab would look like if he were life-size
Masters: Why is your assumption of his guilt more valid than my assumption of his selflessness?
House: Because my assumption is baked up by millions of men, and Taub, who cheated on their wives.
Arlene: My own daughter is a doctor. She makes a hobby of dismissing my concerns.
House: She sounds smart.
Arlene: Did she tell you to say that?
House: I've never met your daughter.
Arlene: That's hard to believe, since you're currently shtupping her.
House: It's uh, bowling night. He'll never forgive me if I don't. Oh, screw it. I'm coming.
Dr. Cuddy: No, no. no. I am not going to be responsible for that. You drugged the man, you go bowling with him.
House: Well, my chances of sex are considerably lower with Wilson.
Dr. Wilson: I am not giving you advice just so you can distort it to suit your own warped world view.
House: But it's been working so well.
She's brilliant, but new to the real world.
Foreman [about Masters]
Arlene [to Cuddy]: If you're going to dress like an Italian hooker, at least let it be this year's Italian hooker.
Julia: She's not telling us we look fat. That's a major breakthrough.
Arlene: If you didn't want to be insulted, you wouldn't have invited me.
Arlene: You think I'm a hypochondriac?
House: Well, let me answer this way: maybe you're imagining that I think you're a hypochondriac.
Masters: That makes no logical sense.
House: This is not a door to logical sense. Also, shut up.
Masters: What about a tutor?
Taub: I don't need a tutor.
House: Tutor it is. Choose your poison. Chase, if you prefer pounding Aussie beers and commiserating over the suckiness of divorce. Masters, if you want nervous energy, flash cards, and obnoxious pieces of arcane trivia. Foreman, if you need to be berated by a humorless hard-ass.
Taub: Foreman.
House: Interesting. You must be more worried than you look.
Taub: I'm totally fine. I aced my first pathology boards.
Dr. Foreman: Medicine's come a long way in the last hundred years.
Dr. Wilson: Sarah would have been destroyed at the shelter.
House: Aww, who wouldn't want a cat that croaks if you're not at home twice a day to shoot it up?
