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How-i-met-your-mother

Robin: I still say this is stupid. What happened to, "As we mature, the relationship matures with us?"
Marshall: That's just something Lily read in Psychology Today. Alright, she read it in Cosmo. Alright, I read it in Cosmo. Alright, it was CosmoGirl!

Lily [on the phone]: Hey, baby. It's lunchtime, and I love you.
Marshall [on phone in front of co-workers]: I reciprocate in principle, although with the caveat that there seems to be a bit of a surplus here on my end.
Lily: No, I love you more.
Marshall: Do we need to get in a room together and bang this thing out? (pause) Those sound like agreeable terms, although I may need to adjust my briefs

Ted: So, last night Robin left the pizza box out on the floor, so we had sex three times.
Marshall: Sure.
Ted: And then this morning, before I left for work, we kissed.
Marshall: Oh, that's weird. That is weird!

Ted: There aren't any black people in Minnesota?
Marshall: Not if Prince is on tour

Barney [spins around on chair]: Why, hello, I've been waiting for you.
Ted: Wait a second, that's not our chair. Did you bring that chair yourself?
Barney: I needed one that swivels

I'm proud to be Canadian. We may not have a fancy NFL team, or Prince, but we invented Trivial Pursuit—you're welcome, Earth. Plus, in Canada, you can go to an all-nude strip club and order alcohol. That's right. From Moose Jaw to the Bay of Fundy, you can suck down a 20-ounce Pilsner while watching some coal miner's daughter strip down to her pelt. Jealous?

Robin

Lily: Okay, okay, okay, stop fighting.
Kid 1: Why?
Lily: Because it's stupid and juvenile.
Kid 2: We're six; we are stupid and juvenile!

Marshall: You know what, Doug, I will gladly pay. And you know why? Cause that's what grown-ups do! They pay for their drinks and they don't get into fights. You know what I was doing while you guys were out there being immature? I tell you what I was doing...
Barney: ...your nails?!
Marshall: Haha, No, I was doing...
Ted: ...a relationship-quiz in this month's Cosmo?!
Marshall: No, I was doing...
Barney: Your best not to cry when Big came back for Carrie at the end of the Sex and the City movie?!

Robin: There are plenty of legitimate reasons to get in a fight. It might not be pretty, but in certain situations you gotta do what you gotta do.
Ted: Right, I forgot, she thinks fighting is sexy.
Robin: No, I do not... a lot! Look, I come from a culture of hockey players. If a guy can throw down it's somewhat way hot. And scars? Hello! If a guy's got a scar, he's got a Robin, and if he's missing teeth, I'm missing my pants!

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