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Robin: Stella's not gonna let you keep half of this junk.
Ted: Why wouldn't she?
Lily: Oh, Ted, oh, sweetie. Okay, here's the thing that guys only learn after they move in with a woman. All of your stuff is stupid
- Permalink: Stella's not gonna let you keep half of this junk. Why wouldn'...
Robin: I'm moving to Japan. It took me a half hour to pack.
Lily: A half hour?
Robin: Well, it would have taken me 20 minutes, but a friend called me in tears
- Permalink: I'm moving to Japan. It took me a half hour to pack. A half ho...
Barney [dressed in old man costume]: In a few minutes, the young me from your time is going to come through that door. Now, Cindy, I know this sounds insane, but in order to save the planet, you need to sleep with him tonight.
Cindy: What? I...
Barney: Sleep with Barney Stinson tonight, in whatever way he wants it, or he won't be able to find the solution to global warming that saves the human race
- Permalink: In a few minutes, the young me from your time is going to come t...
Lily: You hated that job.
Robin: It wasn't that bad.
Lily: What did they make you call Tropical Storm Hector when they said it was raining "cats and dogs?"
Robin: A furricane.
Marshall: Hey, Ted, "Rock Me Like a Furricane"
- Permalink: You hated that job. It wasn't that bad. What did they make y...
Lily: Ted, if you murder me and bury me in New Jersey, I'll hunt you forever.
Ted: But if I murder you and bury somewhere else?
Lily: Hey, I'll leave you alone. I'm sure you had your reasons
- Permalink: Ted, if you murder me and bury me in New Jersey, I'll hunt you f...
Marshall: I hate New York! I'm sorry, but it's true! Today, I was walking around PriceCo. Have you been there? It's huge! All the stores in New York are so cramped! Every time I turn around I knock something over. I'm like some huge monster that came out of the oceans to destroy bodegas! ...I'm too big for New York, okay! I'm always trying to fit into cramped little subway seats, or duck under doorways that were built a hundred and fifty years ago. "Hey, people are bigger now! Build bigger doorways! What the hell is wrong with you?" ...And it's so loud. All the time. Yes, I know it's the city that never sleeps, but guess what? I like to sleep! I've been tired for eight years! Tired and scared, with black and blue marks on my elbows from trying to fit into all these tiny elf doorways! New Jersey's great! It's got huge stores, and lawns, and you never have to carry a cup again! For the rest of your life! I'm not afraid to say it: I love New Jersey! [sees Lily's face] I'm just kidding
- Permalink: I love New Jersey! I'm just kidding
Marshall: Just a Burger? Just a burger. Robin, it's so much more than "just a burger." I mean...that first biteâ€”oh, what heaven that first bite is. The bun, like a sesame freckled breast of an angel, resting gently on the ketchup and mustard below, flavors mingling in a seductive pas de deux. And then...a pickle! The most playful little pickle! Then a slice of tomato, a leaf of lettuce and a...a patty of ground beef so exquisite, swirling in your mouth, breaking apart, and combining again in a fugue of sweets and savor so delightful. This is no mere sandwich of grilled meat and toasted bread, Robin. This is God, speaking to us in food.
Lily: And you got our wedding vows off the Internet!?
- Permalink: Just a Burger? Just a burger. Robin, it's so much more than just...
Ted: Chinese [food]?
Barney: I don't like Chinese.
Barney: I just said, I don't like Chinese.
Ted: Indian isn't Chinese.
Barney: Weird meats, funny music, side of rice. Why are we splitting hairs?
Barney: I just said, I don't like Chinese!
- Permalink: Chinese ? I don't like Chinese. Indian? I just said, I don...
Lily: This burger is so good, its like Christmas in my mouth. Meat Christmas.
Ted: Its like an angel from heaven landed in the kitchen of McClaren's... where the chef killed it and ran it through the meat grinder.
Barney: I love this burger so much I want to sew my ass shut
- Permalink: This burger is so good, its like Christmas in my mouth. Meat Chr...
Lily: But you wanna be an environmental lawyer!
Marshall: Yea, you know I also wanna be a Harlem Globetrotter and get paid in candy
- Permalink: But you wanna be an environmental lawyer! Yea, you know I also...
Ted [about Star Wars]: It's just a movie.
[Marshall and Ted watch..]
Ted: Okay, if Stella doesn't like this movie I can't marry her.
Marshall: No, you can't.
Ted: Wanna watch it again?
Marshall: Yes, I do.
- Permalink: It's just a movie. Okay, if Stella doesn't like this movie I...
Barney [after leaving Robin a weird sound on her voicemail]: She wasn't there. I left a voicemail.
Lily: You left a voice, but it wasn't male
- Permalink: She wasn't there. I left a voicemail. You left a voice, but it...