How I Met Your Mother

How I Met Your Mother Season 4 Quotes (Page 5)

Season 4 Episode 6: "Happily Ever After"

Ted [to Stella in his dream encounter]: You picked the wrong guy.
Stella: Ted?
Ted: You picked the wrong guy. You made a really, really, really bad choice. What were you thinking? That guy? Are you kidding me? Have you learned nothing in the last eight years? You're just gonna regret this. You know that, right? You are going to regret this, and now there is nothing you can do about it because it's too late. All you can do now is go up there and start your crappy, disappointing life that will never be nearly as happy as the one you could have had with me. Good-bye.
Stella: Ted, wait.
Ted: Look, Stella, I am not here to win you back. I am here because I need to know that you know you made the biggest mistake of your life.
Stella: I know
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 4 Episode 5: "Shelter Island"

Barney [at the wedding bar]: Berry Blaster Brain revitalizer—My God, some of these drinks can actually make a girl smarter. What sort of hell has Ted brought us to?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: The lamb here is supposed to be great.
Nora: I am a vegan. I wish I could tune out that moral voice inside me that says eating animals is murder. But, I guess I'm just not as strong as you are.
Ted: That's 'cause you need protein
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Stella: I don't know how I feel about Robin coming to our wedding...
Ted: Can I help? You feel glad!
 • Rating: Unrated

Marshall: There's no meat.
Lily: There's no alcohol.
Marshall: It gets worse—I am 90% sure that guy you were talking with used to be lead singer of the Spin Doctors
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 4 Episode 4: "Intervention"

Robin [at Marshall's Cat in the Hat hat intervention]: Dear Marshall,
I do not like that stupid hat.
I want to beat it... with a bat.
Or maybe stab it with a fork.
It makes you look like such a dork
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted [about his intervention]: What was it for? The Crocs? The hair product?
Marshall: Not Stella.
Ted: Oh, my God, this was about Stella.
Marshall: I just said, "not Stella," so maybe it was about your poor listening skills, Ted.
Ted: What?
Marshall: It's out of control, see?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: Marriage is stupid! Every year there are a million new, hot, 22-year-olds walking into bars, and call me "glass-half-full," but I think they're getting dumber
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: Robin, could I hear yours?
Robin: "Dear Ted, it's 'encyclo-pee-dia', not 'encyclo-pay-dia'. Why do you always say things in the most pretentious way possible? It makes you sound douchey—and that's 'douch-ey', not 'douch-ay'."
Ted: Yeah, you already read that one at my Pronunciation intervention. Where's the letter about Stella?
Robin: I didn't write one. I'm your ex-girlfriend. I figured anything I said on the subject would sound catty. Plus, I'm hotter than her, so who cares?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Robin: Stella's not gonna let you keep half of this junk.
Ted: Why wouldn't she?
Lily: Oh, Ted, oh, sweetie. Okay, here's the thing that guys only learn after they move in with a woman. All of your stuff is stupid
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Robin: I'm moving to Japan. It took me a half hour to pack.
Lily: A half hour?
Robin: Well, it would have taken me 20 minutes, but a friend called me in tears
 • Rating: Unrated

Barney [dressed in old man costume]: In a few minutes, the young me from your time is going to come through that door. Now, Cindy, I know this sounds insane, but in order to save the planet, you need to sleep with him tonight.
Cindy: What? I...
Barney: Sleep with Barney Stinson tonight, in whatever way he wants it, or he won't be able to find the solution to global warming that saves the human race
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 4 Episode 3: "I Heart NJ"

Lily: You hated that job.
Robin: It wasn't that bad.
Lily: What did they make you call Tropical Storm Hector when they said it was raining "cats and dogs?"
Robin: A furricane.
Marshall: Hey, Ted, "Rock Me Like a Furricane"
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lily: Ted, if you murder me and bury me in New Jersey, I'll hunt you forever.
Ted: But if I murder you and bury somewhere else?
Lily: Hey, I'll leave you alone. I'm sure you had your reasons
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: I hate New York! I'm sorry, but it's true! Today, I was walking around PriceCo. Have you been there? It's huge! All the stores in New York are so cramped! Every time I turn around I knock something over. I'm like some huge monster that came out of the oceans to destroy bodegas! ...I'm too big for New York, okay! I'm always trying to fit into cramped little subway seats, or duck under doorways that were built a hundred and fifty years ago. "Hey, people are bigger now! Build bigger doorways! What the hell is wrong with you?" ...And it's so loud. All the time. Yes, I know it's the city that never sleeps, but guess what? I like to sleep! I've been tired for eight years! Tired and scared, with black and blue marks on my elbows from trying to fit into all these tiny elf doorways! New Jersey's great! It's got huge stores, and lawns, and you never have to carry a cup again! For the rest of your life! I'm not afraid to say it: I love New Jersey! [sees Lily's face] I'm just kidding
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 4 Episode 2: "The Best Burger in New York"

Marshall: Just a Burger? Just a burger. Robin, it's so much more than "just a burger." I mean...that first bite—oh, what heaven that first bite is. The bun, like a sesame freckled breast of an angel, resting gently on the ketchup and mustard below, flavors mingling in a seductive pas de deux. And then...a pickle! The most playful little pickle! Then a slice of tomato, a leaf of lettuce and a...a patty of ground beef so exquisite, swirling in your mouth, breaking apart, and combining again in a fugue of sweets and savor so delightful. This is no mere sandwich of grilled meat and toasted bread, Robin. This is God, speaking to us in food.
Lily: And you got our wedding vows off the Internet!?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ted: Chinese [food]?
Barney: I don't like Chinese.
Ted: Indian?
Barney: I just said, I don't like Chinese.
Ted: Indian isn't Chinese.
Barney: Weird meats, funny music, side of rice. Why are we splitting hairs?
Ted: Mexican?
Barney: I just said, I don't like Chinese!
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Lily: This burger is so good, its like Christmas in my mouth. Meat Christmas.
Ted: Its like an angel from heaven landed in the kitchen of McClaren's... where the chef killed it and ran it through the meat grinder.
Barney: I love this burger so much I want to sew my ass shut
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Lily: But you wanna be an environmental lawyer!
Marshall: Yea, you know I also wanna be a Harlem Globetrotter and get paid in candy
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Season 4 Episode 1: "Do I Know You?"

Ted [about Star Wars]: It's just a movie.
[Marshall and Ted watch..]
Ted: Okay, if Stella doesn't like this movie I can't marry her.
Marshall: No, you can't.
Ted: Wanna watch it again?
Marshall: Yes, I do.
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

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