Pauly D: [on the phone] How are you?
Dispatcher: Fine.
Pauly: How are the Kids?
Dispatcher: What?
Pauly: Can I have a cab?

This girl is Vinny's type to a T. So I smooshed her as a perfect way to honor Vinny.

Pauly D

I'm tired of being the bad dude, I don't know if I can do it anymore.


I'm going to smash this tattooed chick in my man Vinny's bed. In honor of my man Vinny for leaving the house.

Pauly D

In memory of Vinny, I'm rocking skinny jeans.


It's like fingerprints, how are you going to tell a guidette apart without her extensions?


Deena's hair is f****** disgusting right now. You might as well go Britney Spears and shave it off.


[to Deena] Your a** is hanging out. Are you for real. What corner was you working tonight?


Now's it's two meat balls on the loose and we're completely not in the state of mind we should be.


You know it's bad when I'm the sober one.


Snooki: I'm mad drunk right now.
Deena: Can you walk at all?

We met this awesome gay guy. You're gay right? I love gay men. Love them! I can hang out with gay men all freaking day.


Jersey Shore Quotes

Pauly D: Yo, if she still has coloring books ... she's too young for you, man.
Vinny: If she's got a basket on her bicycle ... she's too young for you man.
Pauly D: If she still has the parental controls on her TV ... she's too young for you bro.
Vinny: If she only owns Snow White on DVD ... she's too young for you man.
Pauly D: If his Keds still light up ... he's too young for you bro.
Ronnie: [laughs]
Pauly D: If she still plays laser tag ... she's too young for you bro.
JWoww: That's me.

I'm the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet, but do not f*ck with me.