Claire: Ruben again? He wore a Batman cape to the first day of high school.
Alex: You're really judging me right now when you look like a hooker at Comic-Con?

• Permalink: You're really judging me right now when you look like a hooker at Comic-Con?
• Rating: Unrated

Gloria: Jay, don't forget Joe's new doll.
Jay: Cam and Mitchell, always pushing their agenda.

• Permalink: Cam and Mitchell, always pushing their agenda.
• Rating: Unrated

Joe: I can't wait to make a snow-person!
Jay: Person? We gotta get him out of that hippie school.
Manny: I don't know Jay, last report card he got straight dolphins.

• Permalink: I don't know Jay, last report card he got straight dolphins.
• Rating: Unrated

I want a White Christmas. You know, like white people have.

Gloria

• Permalink: I want a White Christmas. You know, like white people have.
• Rating: Unrated

Phil: Trust me I'm cool as a cucumber. Something about the coat just knows what my body needs.
Claire: You're sweating like a heroin addict.

• Permalink: You're sweating like a heroin addict.
• Rating: Unrated

Claire: You can't just roll over on someone because it makes you uncomfortable!
Phil: Whatever you want.

• Permalink: You can't just roll over on someone because it makes you uncomfortable!
• Rating: Unrated

It's getting a little warm in here. Do you mind if we crack a window? Unless I've already done that with my head...

Mitchell [while blindfolded in the backseat of a speeding car]

• Permalink: It's getting a little warm in here. Do you mind if we crack a window? Unless I've already...
• Rating: Unrated

Alex: Focus people, what does Uncle Mitchell like?
Haley: I don't know, gay things, right? What's a gay think you can think of?
Luke: Ha. He's married to it.

• Permalink: Ha. He's married to it.
• Rating: Unrated

Ray Liotta: Goodfellas! Something Wild. Field of Dreams?
Luke: Never seen it.
Alex: We're really not that old.
Mitchell: Ray Liotta is a really fine actor, and we have taken up enough of his time...
Ray Liotta: Quit saying my full name like you have to tell them who I am.
Mitchell: Well...

• Permalink: Well...
• Rating: Unrated

When you see my movies later, you're going to realize this is a special moment.

Ray Liotta [while posing for a selfie]

• Permalink: When you see my movies later, you're going to realize this is a special moment.
• Rating: Unrated

Gloria: What is wrong with you today?
Jay: I'm sick of Marty lumping me into the same age category as him! Guys like us, back in our day. I'm a baby boomer for God's sake. I know all the words to Light My Fire!

• Permalink: I'm sick of Marty lumping me into the same age category as him! Guys like us, back in our...
• Rating: Unrated

Mitchell: Aaaaaah! I can't even believe I'm talking to you right now!!
Barbara Streisand's Voice: Please. I'm just a regular person like you. I have people put on my pants one leg at a time.
Mitchell [wheezing and clapping]: That's so funny!

• Permalink: That's so funny!
• Rating: Unrated