Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCFavorite Modern Family Quotes
Jay: Let me tell you about a little innovation called Netflix. You'll never miss another movie again.
Marty: Really?
Jay: Hand to God. You pick a film on your computer. Three days later, there's a disc in your mailbox. You gotta stay up with technology, Marty!
Marty: Wow. Thanks... [to his wife] Can you believe he doesn't know about streaming? If I ever get that out of touch? Kill me.
I don't trust lakes. Where I come from this is where we dump drugs and dead bodies.
Gloria
Mitchell: I ran into this guy who runs the bait shop.
Jay: Is that a gay bar?
Cam: The doctor says absolutely no sun while I'm on these antibiotics.
Mitchell: What would happen? Because if it's anything short of death, I think you should risk it.
Phil, we're them! We're the cover of the old people pamphlet.
Claire
Luke: Why does Alex get a care package and not me?
Claire: You live in a care package.
We will keep in touch, son.
Gloria [dropping Manny off at college]
Let's face it, like Drew Barrymore, I am an adorable fire starter.
Cam
We can't have people golfing sober. They'll realize it's a waste of time.
Luke
Mitchell: What're you doing?
Pam: I'm making one of your fruit smoothies.
Mitchell: Uh Pam...
Pam: Fine, I'm making one of your homosexual smoothies.
Jay: If I didn't say it, it's a big deal, you going here.
Manny: If I didn't say it, I couldn't have done it without you.
The molten chocolate cake looks slutty and delicious. Would it kill you to say that about me?
Cam
