Modern Family

Modern Family Quotes (Page 11)

Season 3 Episode 3: "Phil on Wire"

Luke: The other day Uncle Mitchell brought over a bag of junk food so he and Cam could do a Jew fast.
Phil: Juice fast?
Luke: I'm pretty sure he said Jew.
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Claire: Turns out I've had my super-Dunphy all along.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Alex: I let down my mom and dad today. And even worse, I let down my teacher.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gloria [to Jay]: Are you happy? You have reduced me to a person who eats a shoe.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cam [to Mitchell]: Get away from me temptress! And I never thought I'd call you that in a negative way.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gloria: Cam I don't have all day to describe my meals to you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Claire: Phil I think those are jazz shoes.
 • Rating: Unrated

Haley: You're a freshman, what are you doing in second year math?
Alex: You're a senior, what are you still doing in second year math?
Haley: Not still, again!
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Phil: How awesome are people?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mitchell: Let's face it a well fed Cam is hardly a model of emotional stability; now deprive him of food and stage by stage it's a slow descent into madness.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mitchell [to Cam]: You know I'm gonna check the lease, but I'm pretty sure we're not allowed to have a meth lab.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Season 3 Episode 2: "When Good Kids Go Bad"

Claire: None of you believe me so I got proof. You should all be sucking it right now!
Gloria: Claire, please, enough with the sucking it! They're children!
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Mitchell: The attic? Why?
Luke: At least it's big. Grandpa said you used to live in a closet.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cam [about Lily]: She looks like she was dipped in glue and dragged through a flea market.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Phil: Guess it's just one of those things that we'll never know, like what really happened to the Titanic.
Claire: It hit an iceberg.
Phil: Maybe.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Claire: Sweetheart I would love to be wrong, but I don't live with the right people for that.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lily: I push the buttons Daddy!
Cam [in tears]: You sure do!
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Mitchell: There are very few parenting issues where I come out on top. I'm distant, I work too much, my french braiding is sloppy. Finally something that's not my fault!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Jay [to Manny]: You're not by chance wearing the locket, are you?
 • Rating: 3.5 / 5.0

Alex [to Haley]: Is it one more year or when you leave for college, because those happen to be two different things.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

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