Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Can I sit around an empty house and wait for someone? Baby I'm a realtor. I have a license for that.

Phil

That's a library? I thought it was a church for a religion that didn't allow makeup.

Haley

Are you saying what I think you're saying? I'm Crocodile Dunphy?!

Phil

Mitchell: I'm so nervous. Are we gonna say Hugh Jackman in a bathing suit? What do we say to Hugh Jackman in a bathing suit?
Cam: Oh my God, it's so big.
Mitchell: That's a bit direct but you know he might be flattered- oh you're talking about the boat.

Gloria: How dumb do they think we are?
Phil: Sometimes Claire leaves me pictures instead of food instead of a shopping list.

Mitchell: What's happening?
Cam: I don't know Google him.
Mitchell: I didn't spring for an international data plan.

Jay I miss you. Besides I don't know that I can keep Phil safe anymore, I think he's going to die here.

Gloria

Haley: Lily what did I just say?
Lily: I don't know, something about shoes probably.

This country's number one export is hot surfers. I'm not gonna buy the first one I see, I'm still browsing.

Haley

Calm down, you're gonna spook the boob.

Luke [to Manny]

Manny: Bondi Beach is topless.
Luke: Thank you Trip Advisor.

Claire: I'm sorry but you know how i am about heights.
Gloria: Is that why you never wear high heels?

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 1222 in total

Modern Family Quotes

Comfort is not everything. My toes have been numb since my Quinceanera.

Gloria

You can’t do this. We’re a danger to ourselves. We’re a family of fire starters, poison eaters, and online prostitutes.

Phil
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