Modern Family

Modern Family Quotes (Page 4)

Episode 8: "After the Fire"

Jay: The pain must've been bad if I accepted Phil's help.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jay [to Cam]: I can't take another farm story.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cam: I sleep clown.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cam: It's a somber occasion and all of my tops are too joyful.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gloria [about Jay]: If you want him to stop lifting stuff, put it in grocery bags and put a football game on TV.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Phil: Okay, I'm wonder woman.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Episode 7: "Treehouse"

Cameron: How would she know I'm gay?
Mitchell: Maybe by the way you ordered a drink a doodle do.
 • Rating: 4.3 / 5.0

Cameron: You're going to find somebody because you're an amazing girl Katie, you're the whole package, I just prefer someone who has one.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Phil: You know who can't climb trees?
Luke: Raccoons?
Phil: Worries. Raccoons can and will so don't leave food up here.
 • Rating: 3.8 / 5.0

Haley: Dear College, Cheese makes me gassy, see you in September.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Manny: Forbidden dance floor, only makes me want it more.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jennifer Tilly: Last week Shorty took me to the Cirque-de-Soleil. It's like a circus, but classy.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Cameron: If she were I would never have been that smooth. It's ironic, like "The Gift of the Vagi."
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Phil: Did I just say wife gets in the way? Cause sometimes I do that.
 • Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

Episode 6: "Go Bullfrogs!"

Gloria: I cannot believe he spent 50 dollars on this.
Jay: I know! He could've gotten a two-year subscription to Playboy for that.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Claire: I just wanted to spend my night with some fun gay people. It's not my fault this one decided to be straight!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Claire: I want music and dancing and secondhand smoke!
 • Rating: 3.3 / 5.0

Jay: Think about it, 14-year-old boy, talks about girls all day long. We have more security on these computers than the Pentagon. What do you think he's doing up there?
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Gloria: What do you mean she blossomed? Like the puberty?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Julian: I'm not gay, I'm French.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Are we missing your favorite "Modern Family" quote? Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!