Modern Family Quotes
Coming up with a lie like that in the moment? That girl is no clown, she's gonna be a lawyer.Mitchell
By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.Jay
Haley [smells pot]: Hey! Smells like a party!
Claire: Back inside.
Jay: You know I raised two fully functional children.
Gloria: You have two kids that I don't know about?
Cam: I present to you the Asian for any occassion, the clown that will invert that frown, the dynamic duo of Fizbo and...
Mitchell: Are you not hearing that?
Cam: We're working on the name.
What have I said about sneaking up on me? I could've been shaving. This could've been a Sweeney Todd moment.Mitchell
He's grown up drinking from a breast bigger than his head. I don't think he scares easy.Jay [about Joe]
Do we have to put the toilet on the counter? I take my afternoon coffee here.Manny
Usually when everything's normal, people don't respond in perfectly rehearsed unison.Mitchell
This was a huge mistake. I am jammed in the backseat with a hairy Peruvian biter. It's spring break '92 all over again!Cam
Cam: It was right about then that a question started nagging at me: "Is Phil sexy?"
Life's too short to be ruled by fear. What do you say we get you the right dryer princess?Phil [to Cam]