Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family

Don't get me wrong the Dunphys have some great days, we just have some trouble stringing them all together.

Claire

Cam: Oh my God! It feels like we have one mind and one heart.
Mitchell: And one chair.

Jay: I didn't mean for her to get hurt.
Gloria: Not her, he when he realizes not every second wife looks like this.

Wait is fire weather?

Haley

Claire: There's a reason I'm the best person.
Mitchell: You know that's just a title for today right?
Claire: Yeah, I'm the best person at this wedding.

Don't cry, you'll streak your bronzer.

Mitchell [to Cam]

Mitchell: This is my second favorite suit of yours.
Cam: Second?
Mitchell: Right after your birthday suit.
Cam: Hey! Cut it out, I'm practically a married man.

Half our guests are gay; we're finally giving them a good memory on a school bus.

Cam

Thanks to 35 dollars on the Internet you are looking at the Good Reverend Phillip Humphrey Dunphy.

Phil

Just so you know sometimes when babies come this early, they're black.

Sal

I think I just broke a nail on a turtle.

Claire

Jerry: Where did she come from?
Mitchell: Because she doesn't look like us? That’s offensive.

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 1251 in total
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