Modern Family

Modern Family Quotes (Page 6)

Episode 4: "Door to Door"

Cam: Sweetie what's your name?
Girl: Blanche.
Cam: Shut up really? Mitchell would die.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Manny: Hello Ma'am, do you love Christmas?
Neighbor: Actually I'm Jewish.
Manny: Well then you must appreciate a good value.
 • Rating: 4.3 / 5.0

Mitchell: For the record, I am not a neat freak. In fact in my first long term relationship I was the messy one, which is why she broke up with me...well...
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Phil: I've always said that if my son thinks of me as one of his idiot friends, I've succeeded as a dad.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Cam: When I get home I'm gonna scrub this place like it's a crime scene, which it is because you murdered joy.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Manny: Jay, I'm gonna need you to cut me a check.
 • Rating: 1.5 / 5.0

Alex: Consider yourself lucky you didn't just get, like, felt up by your mom.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Episode 3: "Phil on Wire"

Luke: The other day Uncle Mitchell brought over a bag of junk food so he and Cam could do a Jew fast.
Phil: Juice fast?
Luke: I'm pretty sure he said Jew.
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Claire: Turns out I've had my super-Dunphy all along.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Alex: I let down my mom and dad today. And even worse, I let down my teacher.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gloria [to Jay]: Are you happy? You have reduced me to a person who eats a shoe.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cam [to Mitchell]: Get away from me temptress! And I never thought I'd call you that in a negative way.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gloria: Cam I don't have all day to describe my meals to you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Claire: Phil I think those are jazz shoes.
 • Rating: Unrated

Haley: You're a freshman, what are you doing in second year math?
Alex: You're a senior, what are you still doing in second year math?
Haley: Not still, again!
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Phil: How awesome are people?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mitchell: Let's face it a well fed Cam is hardly a model of emotional stability; now deprive him of food and stage by stage it's a slow descent into madness.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mitchell [to Cam]: You know I'm gonna check the lease, but I'm pretty sure we're not allowed to have a meth lab.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Episode 2: "When Good Kids Go Bad"

Claire: None of you believe me so I got proof. You should all be sucking it right now!
Gloria: Claire, please, enough with the sucking it! They're children!
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Mitchell: The attic? Why?
Luke: At least it's big. Grandpa said you used to live in a closet.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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