Modern Family Quotes
Claire: I asked you to clean up the kitchen nine hours ago when I left for work. I come back and it's the exact same mess PLUS pickles and peanut butter.
Haley: I was running around doing stuff for my crazy boss all day, and then I got hungry, and then the smell from the garbage almost made me throw up!
Claire: Phil, honey, when I’m not home I need you to be present and keep track of everyone.
Phil: Sounds good. Love you too.
Claire: You've never stolen anything before?
Phil: Only my entire high school production of The Wiz.
Lot of attitude from a guy whose date is a tub of ice cream and a fuzzy robe. You're spending Valentine's Day in a Cathy comic.Jay [to Manny]
As loud as these 2 are, they move like cats.Jay
Obviously there were 2 gifts wrapped similarly and my eyes were a little watery from the thick fog of vapor rub back there.Cam
It was pretty pricey, but they're judgey so we knew the'd love it.Mitchell
Point is- a guy like me gets that lucky, he quits while he's ahead.Phil
I'm gonna miss that Juliana. That woman knows where the bodies are buried.Phil
Phil: Happy Valentine's Day by the way.
Claire: Ew no, I'm gross and sweaty from running.
Whats next you're gonna dress her in fishnets? Put her in a window in Amsterdam? Just keep it casual!Jay [about Stella]
This is a place of business. She needs to throw a tarp over those bounce houses.Jay