Modern Family

Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC

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Season: 4 3 2 1

Modern Family Season 2 Quotes (Page 11)

Season 2 Episode 7: "Chirp"

Manny: I see you're still forklifting.
Jackson: More like lifting the fork!
Manny: I was gonna say that!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Luke: Is that Mom's apron?
Phil: It's an apron.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 2 Episode 6: "Halloween"

Gloria: That doesn't make any sense! Who wants to live in a world where dogs eat each other? Doggy-dog world is a beautiful world filled with little poh-pees.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Phil: Tell me it was about booze, cheating, physical abuse - no problem. I'm a monogamous social drinker and Claire only sleep-hits me.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Jay: This whole thing is a colossal fog cue.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Gloria: He scared the baby cheeses out of me!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Claire: You're in a house of horrors being held against your will.
Alex: Yeah, I know, so why do I need the cage.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Cam: That's a lot of complaining for somebody who asked for thirds of our tandoori turkey last year.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Claire: Honey, trust me, I'm sparing you an entire day of guys asking you if you have a rough tongue.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Cam: Really, Mitchell? The worst Halloween ever? You had squeaky thighs; I lost a childhood.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Gloria: A bruja is a witch! A gar-golll is a gar-golll.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Phil: Can you imagine? One minute you're happily married, the next minute you're completely by yourself.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 5: "Unplugged"

Gloria: Oh, here we go, because in Colombia we trip over goats and we kill people in the street! Do you know how offensive that is? Like we're Peruvians!
 • Rating: 4.1 / 5.0
Phil: I am completely on board your mother's horse and buggy to yesteryear. For the next week, I may as well be Amish. Jebediah Dunphy: Raisin' barns, witnessin' murders, making electric-fireplace hearths.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Gloria: I took him to a farm where he has plenty of room to run.
Jay: That's the second thing they say when something's dead.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Manny: Don't skimp on linens. Don't compliment a teacher on her figure. And when it comes to my mom, never ask questions I don't want the answers to.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Jay [to Glorida]: I don't get how one dog keeps you awake when you grew up sleeping through cockfights and revolutions.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Cam: Well, my white-man name is Tucker. I am 1/16 Cherokee. Ready for child to soar like eagle.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Claire: Don't take this the wrong way, but I have almost no faith in you.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0
Jay: Don't most kids drink soda?
Manny: Who knows what they do?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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Season: 4 3 2 1
Total Season 2 Quotes: 279
Total Modern Family Quotes: 1001
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