Modern Family

Modern Family Season 2 Quotes (Page 14)

Season 2 Episode 2: "The Kiss"

Jay: I'm gonna go get a beer, beer, beer before I punch you in the head, head, head.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Phil: The computer and the printer must talk, talk, talk/Command P makes the picture walk, walk, walk.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jay: Don't be coy, what are you waiting for a box of chocolates? Let's do this!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 2 Episode 1: "The Old Wagon"

Phil [to Claire]: I love you when you're human.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mitchell: Don't carry me out this time, I think it sends the wrong message to Lily.
 • Rating: Unrated

Phil: Wow, this place has really changed. Time marches on, huh? See that Starbucks down there, you know what that used to be?
Luke: An orange grove?
Phil: No, a Burger King. You can still see some of the architecture.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Mitchell: I know I'm not the handiest guy, but I'm still a man and I want to be able to look out into my yard and say, 'There's a little bit of me in that princess castle.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Claire: Look at them: A minute ago they were babies, and now their driving, and soon we'll all be dead.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jay: That was my Vietnam - and I was in Vietnam.
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Phil: In your face, girl with a negative tattoo.
 • Rating: 3.5 / 5.0

Alex: I'm just letting you guys know, I'm not taking care of him when you guys die.
 • Rating: Unrated

Phil: Angela Lansbury was the grand marshal. Good times she wrote.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gloria: In my culture, mothers are very clingy to their sons. In fact, the leading cause of death among Colombian women is when their sons get married. But I'm not like that.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mitchell: Aren't you going to change into a working man's outfit?
Cameron: I don't think workmen really call them outfits.
 • Rating: Unrated

Phil: You can insult a lot of things about me - my hair, my voice, my balance-board exercises - but don't insult my selling. That crosses a line. What line? Oh, you don't see it? That's because I just sold it!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cameron: If an accident does happen, I hope he kills me, because I don't think I would be a very inspiring disabled person.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cameron: If I have to read The Very Hungry Caterpillar one more time, I will snap!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Manny: Kelly's moving her stuff into my notebook.
Kelly: It just felt right.
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

Cameron: Every home-improvement project we've undertaken has been a near-death experience.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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