Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC

In Colombia, you can't go to the hospital for every little sniffle or dislocated shoulder.


I was a lot like you in high school except my hair was shorter and my guitar was a flute.

Vitamin P

Why do I almost always kill my husbands? I will never forget you, Jay!


Sad face emoticon! I can feel the hurt through the phone!


Missouri is more cosmopolitan than you give it credit for. It's got a very vibrant cowboy poetry scene.


I need her name and address so I can mess her up!


This is how I like to cuddle.

Cam's mother

If you ain't white, you ain't right.


My knee's been singing all morning.


I really thought it was too late for me. But for the last few minutes, I've been watching all of you acting like children and it hit me. I've got plenty of time left to be a kid.


You cheated on me with choreography and that is the worst kind.


Just filling out the application to family camp. You don't win the 'Dirty Dancing' competition and not go back to defend your crown.

Displaying quotes 169 - 180 of 279 in total

Modern Family Season 2 Quotes

Alex: Dad, we haven't had lunch yet.
Phil: Neither have half the kids in Africa. Stop yappin' and get back to work.

You can't have two fun parents... You know that kid Liam who wears pajama pants to school and pays for things with a hundred-dollar bill? Two fun parents.