Sorry I aggravated you, and just so you know, a lot of people think I'm adorable.


Mitchell: When I was 12-years-old my father walked into my bedroom and caught me doing the most embarrassing thing that a boy can do: dancing to Madonna's 'Lucky Star.'

Richard Gere, I'll be the officer, don't be a gentleman.


I love Westerns, the bloodier the better, that's my favorite type of movie - that and anything set against the backdrop of competitive cheerleading.


She had to take Alex to the oncologist... She needed new glasses.


If Hannibal Lecter and Freddy Krueger had a lovechild, he would be afraid of our next-door neighbor.


I'm still growing into my tongue.


Manny: Hump day, am I right, Jay?
Jay: Your day ends at 2:30.

I was drunk, I'm not going shopping with Priscilla Queen of the Desert.


Claire: Little kids can be friends with old people, right?
Phil: Of course they can, there's tons of examples: Up, Gran Torino, True Grit..."
Claire: Cartoon, kills himself, she loses an arm. We've gotta go talk to that guy."

Mitchell: Who signed an agreement for a sixteen year health club membership?
Cameron: You have to spend money to save money.

I had to undress a mannequin while a creepy guy filmed it, so we have that to look forward to on the Internet.


Modern Family Season 2 Quotes

Oh, here we go, because in Colombia we trip over goats and we kill people in the street! Do you know how offensive that is? Like we're Peruvians!


Manny: Kelly's moving her stuff into my notebook.
Kelly: It just felt right.