Modern Family

Modern Family Season 2 Quotes (Page 5)

Season 2 Episode 18: "Boys' Night"

Jay: I was drunk, I'm not going shopping with Priscilla Queen of the Desert.
 • Rating: Unrated

Claire: Little kids can be friends with old people, right?
Phil: Of course they can, there's tons of examples: Up, Gran Torino, True Grit..."
Claire: Cartoon, kills himself, she loses an arm. We've gotta go talk to that guy."
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Season 2 Episode 17: "Two Monkeys and a Panda"

Mitchell: Who signed an agreement for a sixteen year health club membership?

Cameron: You have to spend money to save money.
 • Rating: Unrated

Claire: I had to undress a mannequin while a creepy guy filmed it, so we have that to look forward to on the Internet.
 • Rating: Unrated

Manny: I made a reference to The Wiggles and it went right over her head.
Jay: I don't know what that means.
Manny: It's an expression. It means she didn't get it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Claire: I want them to share clothes, do each others hair and gossip about boys. Like i did with Mitchell.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Phil: Whoa, whoa, maybe it's all the creams, that just made sense, girlfriends.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gloria: Tell them we don't want our bodies inside these drawers where God cannot find us.
Jay: These aren't like our drawers at home. People can find stuff here.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jay: There's enough not to like about death without adding dirt and worms.
 • Rating: Unrated

Gloria: Ta-da is for when you do a flip or where the magician cuts the pretty lady in half, not when you show someone where you want to shove their dead body.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Manny: She makes me feel like a fifth grader again.
 • Rating: Unrated

Manny: Jay, haven't you noticed the spring in my step?
Jay: Oh, kids say cruel things, that doesn't mean you'll turn out that way.
Manny: No, we have something in common. I'm seeing a younger woman.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Alex [to Haley]: Relax, more than half the eleventh grade has been in that sweater.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mitchell [to Cam]: What did Oprah do now
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Phil: If you don't use them, then all our money just goes to charity.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 2 Episode 16: "Regrets Only"

Cam: Shouldn't you get back to Donald? That is the name of your cat, right?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cam: What are we going to do?
Luke: I could start a fire.
Cam: No! But keep that in your back pocket.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Jay: You know, when you get a massage, you sound like a Tijuana prostitute.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Phil: Happy Valenbirthuhhhversary!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Caterer: Hi there. Is your father home?
Luke: I think so. Why?
 • Rating: Unrated

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