Ducky [regarding “Goodfellas”]: Actually, I saw it with Gibbs!
Jimmy: Really? Gibbs sees movies, like made *after* 1957?
Gibbs [walks in]: What’s your point?
Jimmy: Whoa. That was an impressively quiet entrance.

• Permalink: Whoa. That was an impressively quiet entrance.
• Added: May 17, 2017

Bishop: Courtesy of Facebook, we learned that Dean once sailed across the Pacific. Alone.
McGee: Before that, he summited Mt. Kilimanjaro, also alone.
Torres: A man after my own hear. Except for the mountain climbing and sailing. And, uh, Meat Loaf.
Bishop: Hey, I like Meat Loaf.
Gibbs: Why are we talking about Meat Loaf? We got a theory or not?!

• Permalink: Why are we talking about Meat Loaf? We got a theory or not?!
• Added: May 17, 2017

By the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife. [beat] You should smooch.

Jimmy

• Permalink: By the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife. You should smooch.
• Added: May 10, 2017

Quinn: Weddings are weird enough without the extra pressure [of finding a plus-one date].
Torres: Oh, man, I totally agree. I’m right there with you!
Quinn: Besides, it’s way more fun to watch the creepy guys troll the wedding looking for single women to hook up with. You know the type!
Torres [uncomfortable]: Uh, sure… yeah…

• Permalink: The creepy guys troll the wedding looking for single women to hook up with.
• Added: May 10, 2017

Vance: As someone who was also married to a strong, intelligent woman, may I give you some advice, Agent McGee?
McGee: Don’t blow it?
Vance: No. Never take it for granted. Not for one second. And don’t blow it.

• Permalink: No. Never take it for granted. Not for one second. And don’t blow it.
• Added: May 10, 2017

Oh, and you think my eighty hours a week at the DOD is for funsies?

Delilah [on being too busy]

• Permalink: Oh, and you think my eighty hours a week at the DOD is for funsies?
• Added: May 10, 2017

Commander, your ship is an active crime scene. The only place it’s going is back to Norfolk!

Gibbs

• Permalink: Commander, your ship is an active crime scene. The only place it’s going is back to Norfolk!
• Added: May 10, 2017

Chief Choi: Jones’s body, it’s gone!
Jimmy Palmer: This’ll complicate the autopsy

• Permalink: This’ll complicate the autopsy
• Added: May 10, 2017

Jimmy Palmer: We just traveled about three hundred miles in 90 minutes!
Gibbs: Felt a lot longer to me!

• Permalink: Felt a lot longer to me!
• Added: May 10, 2017

Tagger: [spraypaints ‘FU’ on a sign, then hears a horse. He turns around to see a mounted police officer.]
Sgt. Dawson: Let me guess -- ‘FUN’? You like this place so much you just had to tell the world. I get it, I like it here, too!
Tagger: [runs away]

• Permalink: You like this place so much you just had to tell the world.
• Added: May 03, 2017

McGee: There’s an entire American sub-culture devoted to bone collecting.
Bishop: How do you know that?
Gibbs: He dated Abby!

• Permalink: McGee: There’s an entire American sub-culture devoted to bone collecting.
• Added: May 03, 2017

Torres: Horses are not dogs, man.
Sgt. Dawson: You don’t miss a thing!

• Permalink: You don’t miss a thing!
• Added: May 03, 2017