Never assume. (Season 9, Episode 21)Rule #8
Never take anything for granted. (Season 3, Episode 10)Rule #8
Always be specific when you lie. (Season 1, Episode 23)Rule #7
Never apologize. (Season 7, Episode 12, but referenced previous times without a number attached)Rule #6
You don't waste good. (Season 8, Episode 22)Rule #5
The best way to keep a secret? Keep it to yourself. Second best? Tell one other person, if you must. There is no third best. (Season 4, Episode 11)Rule #4
Never be unreachable. (Season 3, Episode 13, Gibbs)Rule #3
Don't believe what you're told. Double check. (Season 1, Episode 1, Mike Franks)Rule #3
Always wear gloves at a crime scene. (Season 1, Episode 1, Mike Franks)Rule #2
Never screw over your partner. (Season 4, Episode 14, Gibbs)Rule #1
Never let suspects stay together. (Season 1 Episode 1, Mike Franks)Rule #1
Bishop: Seriously? How'd you get that?
Tony: Well, it's like Gorillas in the Midst. You'll get to understand his grunts.