Agent McGee: You're attractive, at least on the outside.
Diane Sterling: I'll take that.

Now I wish to act crazy. To really let loose!

Agent Diane Sterling

I bet she's a panther in the sack!


Oh, yeah, a cheater going after tax cheaters!

Agent Fornell

That's funny. She looks just like our ex-wife.

Agent Fornell

He ruined my jacket. I'd shoot my own mother

Agent Fornell

Dinozzo, let's party!

Schmeil Pinkhas

A zebra can't change its stripes but a woman can.

Miranda Pennebaker

Isn't Burt the most relaxing thing?


That TV came over on the Mayflower.


I've seen bad turn to good many times. You can't lose faith.


One gets over a watch. You never get over a loved one.


NCIS Quotes

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.

McGee: Rule number 70 - keep digging till you hit bottom.
Abby: McGee! There is no rule 70.
McGee: Well, I--
Abby: You just made up a rule. This McGibbs thing has really gone to your head. I don't even recognize you right now.