Pitt: My sister's kid. Useless.
Tony: Useless. Well with a name like that, what do you expect?

Pitt: Me, I'm not the coddling type.
McGee and Tony: We've noticed

Tony: Mr. Pitt, you sit tight.
Pitt: Sit tight for what? I just said I didn't kill him.
McGee: Until we know that's true, you're still facing a weapons charge.
Tony: Assault with a deadly Dobie.

Abby: This is nice, Ziva. It's been too long since we got to hang out.
Ziva: Yeah. I know. I'm sorry, I've just been, uh, busy lately.
Abby: Yes you have. Doing what?
Ziva: You know. Just....stuff.

Ziva: Looks like a symbol. But of what?
Abby: That could be all night finding that answer. You in?
Ziva: I'm sorry. Busy.
Abby: Right. "Stuff". I'll draft McGee.

Vance: As long as we share this bond, David, promise me: when I come to offer my perspective concerning what it is you're "catching up" on, you'll be as forthcoming as I'm about to be?
Ziva: I promise I'll try.

Vance: I worry that the act of hiring a nanny means that I'm moving on. And if I'm moving on, I worry that Jackie's death will....it'll feel like...
Ziva: It's a bit more final?
Vance: [nods]
Ziva: Well then I suggest you take your time, Director. Hire a nanny or do not hire one. But do not let anyone tell you when you're ready or should be ready to move on. That is entirely up to you.
Vance: You may be on to something.
Ziva: I have some experience.
Vance: Yeah? Where were you a week and a half ago?

Tony: You know, I've been thinking about getting a dog.
Gibbs: He's not a dog. He's a Marine.

You think he became the copycat to resurrect his career?


Vance: Where is he?
McGee: It's haircut Tuesday, Director Vance.
Tony: Yeah, the bowl should be coming off his head just about now.

Gibbs: You volunteering for that, are you DiNozzo?
Tony: Stripper. Caribbean beach. Is that a trick question?
Gibbs: Behave yourself, Skippy.
Tony: Aye, aye sir.

McGee: Listen, don't let him "probie" you.
Derniken: What?
McGee: I've been there Dornie. Tony's going to pull rank.
Dorneget: I can handle him.
McGee: Watch your back, Dornie.

NCIS Quotes

Tony: One other question, I know you're an expert in English history. And I was just wondering, have you ever heard of Archibald Drummond, the 17th Earl of Trent?
Ducky: The Earl of Trent. No, I can't say I have. Why?
Tony: I was just wondering. Thanks.

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.