Gibbs: Where's McGee?
Tony: Overslept.
Ziva: doctor's visit.
Gibbs: Uh huh.

McGee: Boss I'm sorry. I know. I know. I'm an hour and forty six minutes late.
Tony: Forty-seven Tim Tebow. Better put a knee down. Start praying.
Gibbs: Let's go, McGee. Sick bay. Come on.
Tony: I love it when he's late.

Admiral McGee: Get me off the ship.
Gibbs: Can't.
Admiral McGee: Sure you can.
McGee: No dad, he can't. Man died here today. Until we've figured out what happened this whole crew's on lockdown.
Admiral McGee: Understandable but I have some place to be.
McGee: Been hearing that one my whole life.
Admiral McGee: Good to see you too son.

McGee: Your family was the Navy.
Admiral McGee: Still is, boy.

McGee: Stan's a good guy. Besides, he knows that Ziva's vulnerable right now.
Tony: Aha. That's exactly what I'm talking about. You see he would use that to his advantage. Swoop right in, like a hawk going after a sweet, innocent, furry little Israeli.

Tony: Well you have got a long list of juvie priors, a history of possessions and frankly a blood workout that makes Sid Vicious look clean.
Wyath: Sid who?

Admiral McGee: I have to ask you a personal question. I want to know Tim's status here at NCIS.
Vance: Meaning?
Admiral McGee: Meaning I want to know if he'll ever amount to anything more than an overpaid paper pusher.

Admiral McGee: My relationship with my son is none of your damned business.
Gibbs: You make him think he's nothing. You're the one with nothing.

McGee: Boss do you think I made the right decision with my father?
Gibbs: To be the bigger man? Maybe it's time he learned from you, McGee.

Tony: If Vance is waiting for Robin Williams in drag to come floating on some magic umbrella, singing "Do Re Mi", he's going to be waiting a long time.
McGee: Wow Tony, three movie nannies in one reference. That's impressive.

Ziva: Anything new on the nanny front?
McGee: Not that I've heard. Vance's search enters its second week.
Tony: Which left his agents feeling like a gaggle of nuns waiting on white smoke from the Vatican chimney.

Maria [prospective nanny]: It was so very nice meeting you, Director. And I do hope you'll do me the honor of being governess to your lovely children. We'll play games and sing songs and...
Vance: Well that sounds great Maria but I do have a few other applicants to meet...I promise I'll let you know soon. Thank you.

NCIS Quotes

Tony: One other question, I know you're an expert in English history. And I was just wondering, have you ever heard of Archibald Drummond, the 17th Earl of Trent?
Ducky: The Earl of Trent. No, I can't say I have. Why?
Tony: I was just wondering. Thanks.

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.