Come on, $22 a pound for rib eye? That's the real crime.Tony
- Permalink: Come on, $22 a pound for rib eye? That's the real crime.
Gibbs: Dad, I can stop this. I need your help.
Gibbs Sr.: Whatever it takes.
Gibbs: Okay, let's go fishing.
- Permalink: Dad, I can stop this. I need your help. Whatever it takes. O...
Mike: Do what you have to do for family.
Gibbs: What rule is that?
Mike: The unspoken one.
- Permalink: Do what you have to do for family. What rule is that? The un...
Tony: You need some lady advice.
Tim: I'd rather get a lap dance from a nun.
- Permalink: You need some lady advice. I'd rather get a lap dance from a n...
Ziva: We hit a shamu.
Susan: Did she mean a snafu?
- Permalink: We hit a shamu. Did she mean a snafu?
In high school, I was actually voted least likely to take a hint.Susan
- Permalink: In high school, I was actually voted least likely to take a hint...
Borin: You can call me Abby.
Gibbs: No, that's not going to happen.
- Permalink: You can call me Abby. No, that's not going to happen.
Tony: Davy Jones. Used to sing with The Monkees.
Ziva: Real monkeys?"
Tony: I envy your brain sometimes.
- Permalink: Davy Jones. Used to sing with The Monkees. Real monkeys? I e...
This was no boating accident.Tony
- Permalink: This was no boating accident.
Tobias: This is a big deal, you letting me drive your car.
Gibbs: Whatever, you already slept with my wife.
- Permalink: This is a big deal, you letting me drive your car. Whatever, y...
DiNozzo: We got nothing.
Tobias: I don't like the sound of that.
DiNozzo: [way more enthusiastically] WE GOT NOTHIN'!
- Permalink: We got nothing. I don't like the sound of that. WE GOT NOT...
Gibbs: Get Tony and Ziva out of bed.
McGee: What? Oh, you want me to get them out of bed. Because it's the middle of the night. Their individual beds.
- Permalink: Get Tony and Ziva out of bed. What? Oh, you want me to get the...
McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.
- Permalink: Abby's highly-specific rules for dating
McGee: You know something I don't? Working tonight and tomorrow night?
Tony: No, Tim. It's just that Zoe's parents are in town and they want to have dinner. I'm not ready for that.
Abby: So you deceived her.
Tony: I was put on the spot. I was not prepared.
McGee: Whoa. Hey. What are you afraid of?
Tony: I don't know.
Abby: They're probably really nice.
Tony: I'm sure they are. I've just never had dinner with the parents of a woman I'm seriously involved with.
McGee: That's not true. What about Jon Benois?
Tony: No, technically that wasn't me because I was undercover as Tony DiNardo, professor of film studies. I wasn't myself back then. Meeting the parents for dinner could trigger a whole chain of events.
Abby: It's just dinner, Tony.
Tony: You have dinner yet with Ranger Burt's parents? I didn't think so. Then put down the gavel, take off the robe and stop judging, both of you.
- Permalink: Tony doesn't want to meet Zoe's parents.