NCIS

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Ncis
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Ziva: After out last trip to LA, I do not understand why you would think I would be such an eager platypus, Tony.
Tony: Beaver, eager beaver. Not platypus. (pause) Why does that bother me so much? Don't answer that! (Ziva's cell rings) Answer that!

Ziva: Tony, do you have to do that now?
Tony: It's spring. I'm spring-cleaning, so... yes!
Ziva: Spring-cleaning?
McGee: You don't have spring-cleaning in Isreal?
Ziva: We do not have spring. Israel is a desert.

You look pretty good for a dead guy, except for the blood draining from your face.

Abby (to Major King)

Major King: What did I do wrong?
Abby: You made me care about you.

(in an "anchorman" voice) In a tragic story of obsessive hobbying turned deadly, an NCIS Agent was discovered in his basement crushed between a large, homemade boat and an even larger bottle of bourbon. Film at eleven!

Tony

Tony: Oh, glad you could join us McTardy.
McGee: Where's the bossman? I need a superior to sign off on this.
Tony: Hand it over, I'm clearly superior to you in so many ways.

Ziva: I hit a stone wall.
Tony: Brick wall.
Ziva: No, it was a stone wall. I backed up too quickly.

Ziva: This reminds me of the forests I used to have fun in as a child.
Tony: Find that hard to believe.
Ziva: What? That Israel had forests?
Tony: No, that you had fun as a child.

Ziva: You can't make an omelet without breaking some legs.
Tony: You're never making me breakfast!
Ziva: That is the truth!
Tony: It's supposed to be "eggs".
Ziva: Cook them yourself!

McGee: Who'd wanna impersonate Tony?
Ziva: Perhaps Jack Nicholson. You know, impersonation revenge?
McGee: Or it's a frame-up.
Ziva: Jeanne Benoit?
McGee: Overseas. Maybe it was Trent Kort.
Ziva: Are you detecting a trend here?
McGee: Tony does have a way with people.

Tony: McGee.
McGee: What?
Tony: Victim's background, credit cards, bank statements. Gibbs, take a look at Renny's appeal. Use it to catch yourself up on the original embezellment case, then work with McGee.
Gibbs: On it, Boss.
Ziva: Are you going back to Mexico?

McGee, stroke my plumage.

Tony
Displaying quotes 649 - 660 of 683 in total

NCIS Quotes

McGee: Rule number 70 - keep digging till you hit bottom.
Abby: McGee! There is no rule 70.
McGee: Well, I--
Abby: You just made up a rule. This McGibbs thing has really gone to your head. I don't even recognize you right now.

Bishop: It's just....I did everything right. I mean, I was textbook. How can I fail?
McGee: Everybody fails. It's the Kobayashi Maru.

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