Deputy Director Craig: Rest assured. This is an interim assignment. I have no intention of taking Leon's job. You and I---
Gibbs: Deputy Director Craig. I've got your back.

Tony: So help me, McBlivious, if you don't pounce on that hot Israeli action I will never forgive you.
McGee: Gabby's a spy, Tony. Flirting's just another weapon in her arsenal.
Tony: And what an arsenal, huh? That wasn't just flirting, Tim. That was....flirting. For whatever reason, she's caught the mc-fever and you're the only cure.

Bodnar: And whose grandfather would you be?
Ducky: Well that depends. Who's your grandmother?

You know this whole ordeal has made me realize something that I didn't expect. It's helped me better understand your choices. I always thought I had a sense of how you felt at the time, Gibbs. Now I realize I wasn't close. I never wanted that kind of justice before, but since the other night....hell, that's all I think about. Was it worth it, Gibbs? It had to be some relief.


Eli David: Was it a boy or a girl?
Ziva David: It was not real.
Eli David: I know, but what did you tell people?
Ziva David: I said it was a girl.

Dad: Sorry, we shouldn't have stayed.
Son: Are you kidding? Dad this is like the most bad-assed thing we've ever done together. Thanks, dad.

Ziva David: Never sweat where you eat.
Tim McGee: Wrong bodily function.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs: Yeah but it's the right idea.

Eli David: Ziva, I do not walk straight lines. Ask your Agent Gibbs would say, this is not my first radio.
Ziva David: Rodeo.

Jackie Vance: So this is why you had to be in the office so early? Garfield shipped Nermal to the Kremlin again?
Leon Vance: Lasagna shortage in Damascus.

Tony DiNozzo: Shabbat dinner?
Ziva David: It is Friday night. But I have no idea what or who you're talking about.
Tony DiNozzo: Just tell him Agent Meatball says "hi".

Leon Vance: So. We'll still have the house to ourselves after dinner right?
Jackie Vance: You had your shot, baby.

Leroy Gibbs: Leon?
Leon Vance: She's dead. My wife is dead, Gibbs.

NCIS Quotes

Tony: One other question, I know you're an expert in English history. And I was just wondering, have you ever heard of Archibald Drummond, the 17th Earl of Trent?
Ducky: The Earl of Trent. No, I can't say I have. Why?
Tony: I was just wondering. Thanks.

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.