NCIS

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Ncis
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The Americans left you, Ziva. Your family never has.

Ben-Gidon

McGee: I can take care of the video surveillance, it's the K-9 patrol I'm worried about.
Tony: Chillax, bro. All these budget cuts and economic problems, they can't afford dogs. Trust me.

[to McGee] That's like a yoga position. Upside down manatee.

Tony

Ziva: Burns pushed for the Arnett case to remain open by saying WE made a mistake. He knew we would eventually be forced to exhume Arnett's body to prove his death was accidental.
McGee: And when it was found missing his blog would explode.

Tony: [points to casket] Hop in.
McGee: Why would I do that?
Tony: We take a picture, pretend that you're dead, and you don't have to retake the polygraph!
McGee: Tony that is not funny.
Tony: They already think you're ducking them. It's only going to get worse.

McGee: You know how many connections I've found between Arnett and Sutton? Zero. I have checked everything. Emails, phone records ... is that pastrami?
Tony: [nodding, eating] Mmm.
McGee: Can I have a bite?
Tony: [shakes head] Mmm.

Tony: Who would even want to steal Arnett's body.
Abby: Thank God Burns isn't around to put it in his blog.
Tony: Someone else will fill the void.

Ducky: If the cases are connected, does that infer that Arnett was also murdered?
Gibbs: And we've got our hands full.

Gibbs: Bottom line?
Ducky: Lt. Arnett's death was accidental.

Fraternization in the workplace. Never a good idea.

Tony

[to Ben Franklin] A penny saved is a penny earned.

Tony

There were three men at a fake bachelor party. What were they doing there? No one knows.

Tony
Displaying quotes 637 - 648 of 720 in total

NCIS Quotes

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.

McGee: Rule number 70 - keep digging till you hit bottom.
Abby: McGee! There is no rule 70.
McGee: Well, I--
Abby: You just made up a rule. This McGibbs thing has really gone to your head. I don't even recognize you right now.