Ziva: Apologize.
Tony: What for?
Ziva: For being you.
Tony: Sweetheart, if I had a dollar for every time I did that, I'd be loaded.

Jimmy: This is getting scary. Dr. Mallard talks to the dead, and now you're talking to evidence.
Abby: Well, it usually works with firearms, but this one is not saying a peep.

Dempsey: Who's he?
Tony: Public affairs officer.
Dempsey: You brought your publicist to a bomb threat?

Who's the new face of NCIS? You're lookin' at it, McEnvy.

Tony

Come on, $22 a pound for rib eye? That's the real crime.

Tony

Gibbs: Dad, I can stop this. I need your help.
Gibbs Sr.: Whatever it takes.
Gibbs: Okay, let's go fishing.

Mike: Do what you have to do for family.
Gibbs: What rule is that?
Mike: The unspoken one.

Tony: You need some lady advice.
Tim: I'd rather get a lap dance from a nun.

Ziva: We hit a shamu.
Susan: Did she mean a snafu?

In high school, I was actually voted least likely to take a hint.

Susan

Borin: You can call me Abby.
Gibbs: No, that's not going to happen.

Tony: Davy Jones. Used to sing with The Monkees.
Ziva: Real monkeys?"
Tony: I envy your brain sometimes.

NCIS Quotes

If someone thinks they have the upper-hand, break it. (Season 8, Episode 24)

Rule #16

[voiceover] Anyone can achieve their fullest potential, who we are might be predetermined, but the path we follow is always of our own choosing. We should never allow our fears or the expectations of others to set the frontiers of our destiny. Your destiny can't be changed but, it can be challenged. Every man is born as many men and dies as a single one.

McGee