You could totally rock an eye patch Gibbs. And that's not important.

Abby

Ziva: DiNozzo, pull it together.
Tony: Kids. This is way above my pay grade. I spent the afternoon in a child care clinic when I almost lost my life.
Ziva: Stop stop stop stop. We're doing the director a favor, okay? We just need to be here, we need to be normal. Can you just please do that for a few hours?
Tony: Sure. Fine.
Ziva: Fine.
Tony: Only because you asked nicely.

Vance: Do you have a suitcase packed, Jerome?
Craig: Always Leon. You know that.
Vance: Good. I'll be in touch.

Khan: Who is this?
McGee: Someone smarter than you who's about to hang up.

From the ashes, McAbby will rise.

Abby

Ziva: All warehouses are the same.
Tony: Up there with old houses, churches and prisons. Gives me the willies.
Ziva: Is that the thing where people lick their fingers and them they put it in someone's ear?
Tony: That's a wet willy.

Khan: Natural ingredients break down faster. I only eat organic.
Tony: Well that's about to change. Along with a few other aspects of your ironic hipster lifestyle. So whaddya say Chaka Khan? Ready to roll on MC Hammer?
Khan: You don't know anything about music.
Tony: I know it pretty much died around 1977.

Tony: Why do you do what you do?
Khan: If I asked you the same thing, I suspect our answers would be the same.
Tony: Duty?
Khan: No. There are two reasons that are far more base. The steady pay check. Power. The feeling that you've--
Tony: Made a difference.
Khan: Conquered something. Like Caesar.

Deputy Director Craig: Congrats Gibbs. You did it.
Gibbs: No. It's a team effort.

Gibbs: The job's never done, Jerome.
Deputy Director Craig: No. Which is why I don't think I'm the man for it...yet.

Lester: I'm talking about keeping her interested. I'm talking about psychological foreplay.
Marty: "I'm still awake." How's that for foreplay?

Tony: So he pulls me into his office and I think he's going to chew me out for that thing I said about his hair, right? But no. He wants to know if I think he's being doing an okay job.
McGee: The deputy is no Director Vance, that's for sure.

NCIS Quotes

Tony: One other question, I know you're an expert in English history. And I was just wondering, have you ever heard of Archibald Drummond, the 17th Earl of Trent?
Ducky: The Earl of Trent. No, I can't say I have. Why?
Tony: I was just wondering. Thanks.

[reading Valentine's Day card] Roses are red; they go in a bucket; Jake is a jerk; he can go suck it.

Bishop