Today it's gas, tomorrow it's the local news.

Schmidt

As a cop do you think I would get anyone to do anything if I were being kind and supportive?

Winston

I put on my special underwear because Jess is back because I made a promise I'd be wearing these when you came back.

Nick

I feel like the moment passed, right?

Reagan

Actually the dance class has become more of a dance gathering.

Winston

Jury duty was quite simply the tops.

Jess

It's too small to be a cat hotel and too big to be pants so it can't be mine.

Winston

Everbody has been flashed countless times, right?

Nick

It's not gonna end well for these two.

Nick

Winston: Would you consider us adorable?
Nick: No, we're adult men. We're cute.

It's not mine. I only buy local except for clothing and produce, medication, water, seasoning, meat.

Schmidt

I do all her work and she does all the working of her cleavage.

Jess

New Girl Quotes

A lot of people never graduated high school! Einstein! Bill Gates! Anne Frank! I'm gonna take back that last one.

Schmidt

I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words.

Nick