New Girl

New Girl

Tuesdays 9:00 PM on FOX

Latest Review

Season: 2 1

New Girl Season 1 Quotes (Page 8)

Season 1 Episode 5: "Cece Crashes"

Gavin: This is my favorite Deep V!
Jess: It's just a deeper V!
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0
Nick: Just stop being so nice!
Jess: Your mother's being so nice.
Nick: Slam on my mother.
Jess: Your mother's gonna slam on your mother.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Jess: I don't need any help! Nick and I are friends. You don't know cause you don't have guy friends. You just hang out with jerks like Gavin. Or, I'm sorry DJ Dia-beatit.
Cece: He has diabetes.
Jess: He does? Boohoo! I'm sorry. Is it bad? Cause I feel really bad.
Cece: He's fine, he takes medication.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Jess: I'm not like you! I don't just jump in the potato sack, with the first potato that I meet with diabetes!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 1 Episode 4: "Nick is Naked"

Winston: They found another black guy. "Labak Melno Virich". Means a better black guy.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
Jess: I saw Nick's pipi. And his bubbles
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Female interviewer: Did you see the JWOWW retweet of the Gaga twitpic?
 • Rating: Unrated
Schmidt: Jess, you can't laugh at a naked man. And especially Nick. Nick is delicate. Like a flower.Like a chubby, damaged flower who hates himself"
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Jess: Believe it or not, that's not the first time someone's broken my feeling stick. I have a travel size.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Nick: Get out, Schmidt.
Schmidt: I'm the only one who hasn't seen it!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Schmidt: Just suck in your gut
Nick: What gut?
Jess: The little pooch where you keep your extra cookies.
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0
Schmidt: Sum up the last two years? The country's broke. Betty White came back.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Season 1 Episode 3: "Wedding"

Nick: Jess, you know I don't dance.
Jess: Oh but you didn't know I do this. I'm mime walking. I'm Mime-chael Jackson.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Jess: Yea! He has me...and our baby! And our other baby!
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0
Schmidt: So what I need you to do is this. I need you to put vodka in a water bottle, ok? Then rendezvous with me in the restroom.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Jess: We just started dating so were still in that honeymoon phase. I barely sleep. So much doing it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Jess: He's so soft, like a towel.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Nick: No teeth! You can't use prop teeth!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Schmidt: We don't want to be mean, we just don't want you to be yourself...in any way.
Jess: Okay. Suppress the Jess. Got it.
 • Rating: 4.3 / 5.0
Winston: I really just want to get in there and ush this wedding in the face!
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Are we missing your favorite "New Girl" quote? Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!


Season: 2 1
Total Season 1 Quotes: 179
Total New Girl Quotes: 372
SheKnows entertainment