Elizabeth: There are so many cool traditions at this thing! The groom comes in on a white horse!
Schmidt: So, basically, they're just copying my bar mitzvah.

It's only romantic because it's a wedding. I'd be just as happy to sabotage, I don't know, let's say, her tax audit.


I don't think the badger's actually rabid, I think he's just kind of a dick.


I'm staying positive, but I'm pretty sure this is where we die.


Jess, this is where I belong! With Winston and a badger.


Schmidt gave me his worst suit! He said if I could get it over my thighs, he didn't want it!


I look very handsome! I look like I'm on "Miami Vice"!


We used to have a school goat named Melvin. He hung himself, tragically, on the swing set.


Burquas isn't you guys, is it?


Life's messy. It kicks you in the ass. That's right, I said ass.


I don't know how you get a podcast, but you should look into it.


Mr. Day: What's she like?
Nick: She's not quirky. She has no bangs.

New Girl Season 2 Quotes

Don't ask about the duffle bag, bitch!

Edgar's mom

I panicked and I grabbed the hat. I should have grabbed the yoyo or the slap bracelet and now all I have is this stupid hat.