New Girl

Tuesdays 9:00 PM on FOX
New girl

Elizabeth: There are so many cool traditions at this thing! The groom comes in on a white horse!
Schmidt: So, basically, they're just copying my bar mitzvah.

It's only romantic because it's a wedding. I'd be just as happy to sabotage, I don't know, let's say, her tax audit.

Schmidt

I don't think the badger's actually rabid, I think he's just kind of a dick.

Jess

I'm staying positive, but I'm pretty sure this is where we die.

Winston

Jess, this is where I belong! With Winston and a badger.

Nick

Schmidt gave me his worst suit! He said if I could get it over my thighs, he didn't want it!

Nick

I look very handsome! I look like I'm on "Miami Vice"!

Nick

We used to have a school goat named Melvin. He hung himself, tragically, on the swing set.

Principal

Burquas isn't you guys, is it?

Jess

Life's messy. It kicks you in the ass. That's right, I said ass.

Jess

I don't know how you get a podcast, but you should look into it.

Nick

Mr. Day: What's she like?
Nick: She's not quirky. She has no bangs.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 193 in total

New Girl Season 2 Quotes

I just wanted to listen to Taylor Swift alone!

Jess

I panicked and I grabbed the hat. I should have grabbed the yoyo or the slap bracelet and now all I have is this stupid hat.

Jess
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