Humans are the only species that insist on monogamy. Go to the zoo, check out the monkeys, it's like boogey nights in there.


It's kind of in Miami, which according to your speed would only take you 7.5 minutes to get to. So we can still have lunch together everyday!


Stephanie: You're super strong and I'm super... [passes out drunk]
Jim: And that's why we don't have any friends.

I don't see batman cultivating a wide circle of friends, and Peter Parker was always pissing off on his buddies.


So apparently I have a super power too. Driving good-looking men from my apartment.


Jim: Dave is a normal guy.
George: So were you, once.

You're choosing burgers in the suburbs over catching the bad guy version of Bond? Where are your priorities?


Back in high school. I decided I was going to wait for the one. Like Morpheus waited for Neo in the Matrix, but with sexual relations. I waited so long for him, that at some point I never quite stopped waiting.


Katie: Have you ever had somebody look at you like they are looking into your prefrontal cortex?
Stephanie: Aww Katie, you're in love.

Jim: Ok, I'm here. In front of a train, that's going 50 mph.
George: I love you, man.

Jim: Aren't you supposed to be getting some award?
George: A key to the city? What am I going to do with a key that don't open anything?

JJ: The thing is when I try to use my powers to impress her, my brain just doesn't work.
Jim: You feel like you can't perform, brain wise I mean?
JJ: Exactly. Every time I look at her I feel like the blood rushes out of my head and...
Jim: Got it!

No Ordinary Family Quotes

Stephanie: Who are you texting now?
Daphne: God.

I don't know why you guys can't go without me and just photo shop me in.