Oh, Andy. You're fine, but you're simple

Donna

I definitely have more lions than any other country in the whole world right now.

Andy

Andy recently diagnosed himself with what he calls Shoeshine Head. It's when you shine too many shoes and the fumes create a thunderstorm in your brain. Cures include coffee, cheeseburgers and napping on the floor.

April

Andy: There's an old saying in show business: The show must go wrong. Everything always goes wrong, and you just have to deal with it.

April is the best, but she's 20. When April was born I was already in third grade, which means if we were friends back then I would have been hanging out with a baby. I don't know anything about infant care. Oh my god I could have killed her.

Andy

"I guess I kind of hate most things. But I never really seem to hate you. So I want to spend the rest of my life with you, is that cool?"

April

Are you hitting on Leslie for me?

Ben

I'm not sure. I looked at the meter and it had Egyptian hieroglyphics on it. Do you know the exchange rate?

Leslie

How does taking risks make me feel? Amazing. Tingling sensation throughout my whole body. I feel flushed. My muscles are relaxed yet I feel awake. Just waves of pleasure. I wish there was something physical that could make me feel this way.

Leslie

I work hard to make sure my department is as small and as ineffective as possible.

Ron

That's the style now Ron. It's called Lollipopping. All the kids are doing it.

Leslie

The thing about youth culture is that I don't understand it.

Leslie

Parks & Rec Quotes

History began July 4th, 1776. Anything before that was a mistake.

Ron

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He's a grown man. Fishing's not that hard.

Ron