Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation
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Andy: There's an old saying in show business: The show must go wrong. Everything always goes wrong, and you just have to deal with it.

Veganism is the sad result of a morally corrupt mind. Reconsider your life.

Ron

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.

April is the best, but she's 20. When April was born I was already in third grade, which means if we were friends back then I would have been hanging out with a baby. I don't know anything about infant care. Oh my god I could have killed her.

Andy

I wouldn't know. I've never been hungover. After I've had too much whiskey, I cook myself a large flank steak, pan fried and salted butter. I eat that, put on a pair of wet socks and go to sleep.

Ron

Just one rule, I don't want to date a twin because I've been tricked before

Leslie

Call me a romantic, but I believe by the end of the night I will have between one and four new girlfriends.

Tom

Ann: How many drinks of alcohol do you consume a week?
Ron: One.
Ann: That's it? One drink?
Ron: One shelf.
Ann: Do you exercise?
Ron: Yes. Lovemaking and woodworking.
Ann: Do you have any history of mental illness in your family?
Ron: I have an uncle who does yoga.

Donna: You'll never guess what I found on Jerry's Facebook.
April: A friend? Buuurn.

Yeah we got the moon. What are you going to do without tides, Peru?

Leslie

I don't want to paint with a broad brush here, but every single contractor in the world is a miserable, incompetent thief.

Ron

Ron: Anyone find any mistakes?
April: Yeah, actually, in here it says that Pawnee is great, but in reality it's terrible.

Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 1356 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.

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