Favorite Parks and Recreation Quotes
Ron: Leslie, what do we do when we get this angry?
Leslie: We count backwards from 1,000 by sevens and we think of warm brownies.
Just one rule, I don't want to date a twin because I've been tricked before
Leslie
I want to treat April like a queen. And queens deserve flowers and massages, chocolate, booze, diamonds, rubies, emeralds, them treasure chests full of scarves, different kinds of lubes that warm up when you rub them on stuff.
Andy
She broke up with me. Didn't really tell me why. Luckily when you're the guy you can just tell people she's crazy. "Hey, Tom, I heard you and Lucy broke up." "Yeah, man. Turns out, she's crazy." That's what they always do on Entourage.
Tom
April: So this is a multimedia project. First, a bunch of rats made out of garbage. And um, this is a TV screen that'll be like a big flat screen TV and it'll play looped video of knee surgeries. And then, this is a human-size hamster wheel that will be next to the mural, if we can get one. And it'll be spinning and there will be like a fat guy in it all the time like screaming and like eating raw beef and like bleeding and like blood will come out of his mouth and stuff. And um, it'll be like right next to, the mural.
Leslie: I have one question. Why?
April: If you have to ask, you don't get it.
Call me a romantic, but I believe by the end of the night I will have between one and four new girlfriends.
Tom
I won't publicly endorse a product unless I use it exclusively and I really believe in it. My only official recommendations are US Army issued mustache trimmers, Morton's Salt, and the C.R. Lawrence fine two inch style oscillating knife blade.
Ron
I don't want to paint with a broad brush here, but every single contractor in the world is a miserable, incompetent thief.
Ron
Anyone want to go to JJ's for some after dinner omelets?
Ron
It's OK, sweetheart. You can't make art because you are art. You're beautiful. But that sucks.
Tom
You are an unstoppable good idea machine!
Ron
It's not that I don't trust Ben. It's that I don't have faith in Ben. And also I'm starting to forget who Ben is.
Leslie
