Popular Scrubs Quotes
[During surgery]
Surgical Intern: We are so lost.
Turk: We are not lost.
Surgical Intern: Go left here.
Turk: It's right.
Surgical Intern: You passed his Cooper's ligament three times already. Just stop and ask for directions.
Turk: You wanna drive this thing? 'Cause I will pull, I will pull this thing over and let you drive this thing
J.D.: You didn't tell them, did you.
Mrs. Tanner: It didn't come up. Look, they don't need that burden; besides, they'd just give me a bunch of reasons to change my mind.
J.D.: Speaking of which, I took the liberty of jotting down a few things I think everybody should do at least once in their life.
Mrs. Tanner: Oh, no.
J.D.: Okay. "Number One: Eat a sausage-and-pepper hoagie from Enrico's".
Mrs. Tanner: Well, of course I've done that.
J.D.: "Number Two: Go to Asia".
Mrs. Tanner: [Something in Japanese]
J.D.: I'm gonna take that as a yes, and I'll also check off "Learn a foreign language".
[discussing things to do before you die]
J.D.: "Go to the top of the Eiffel Tower".
Mrs. Tanner: Done.
J.D.: Fine. "Go to the top of the Meiffel Tower".
Mrs. Tanner: Oh, now you're making stuff up.
J.D.: No, I'm not; it's right here, you can look at it!
Elliot: Speaking of Heparin, have you slept with Turk yet?
Carla: What!?
Elliot: I'm sorry, I'm-no, I'm sorry...too personal.
Carla: I like to wait. I like a guy to want it so bad he basically thinks he isn't gonna get it ever. Then when he's lost the will to live, that's when I jump him.
Elliot: So, how long does that usually-
Carla: A month, maybe two. What about you?
Elliot: I like to use sex as an ice-breaker.
Carla: Ah. And how's that working out for you?
Elliot: I guess I don't have what you would call high self-esteem
Okay, enough of this. I don't think any of you realize how serious this is. Right now we need to be worried about your mother, your grandmother...your...I'm sorry, we-we haven't met, I'm Dr. Dorian
J.D.
Mrs. Tanner: Just until Samantha blows out her candles. What are you gonna wish for, honey? Uhhhhm....a bike?
Samantha: Nope.
Mrs. Tanner: A doll house?
Samantha: Nope.
J.D.: How about the ability to make quick decisions?
Samantha: Umm...nope
J.D.: Look, I don't know how it's been with your other doctors, but when you're under my care, you stay in the hospital until I say it's okay for you to leave.
Mrs. Tanner: We saved you a plate.
J.D.: I don't care about food right now!
J.D.'s narration: Oh my God, are those s'mores?
J.D.: Dr. Kelso...hi. I wanted to get your opinion about a patient. She's uh...a seventy-four-year-old renal failure, Mrs. Tanner.
Dr. Kelso: Oh, of course! One of our frequent fliers - she's a neat lady.
J.D.: That's what I said!
Dr. Kelso: Nobody likes a brown-nose, son
Elliot: I called down and requested a Spanish-speaking nurse. So...no English, huh? I'm a chunky monkey from funky town.
Carla: I'm gonna have a little trouble translating that
Oh, see, this is embarrassing - you guys are wearing the same outfit. Don't sweat it, I'm not wearing pants
David
J.D.: I'm...I'm...I'm the doctor.
Guy: What are you, sixteen?
Woman: Oh, this is unacceptable.
Guy: What'd you have, like, coupons to this hospital, ma?
Woman: I should-we should have gone to my doctor.
Mrs. Tanner: Now that's enough! Now, sure, he's young, but he's probably a very good doctor. Are you a good doctor?
J.D.: It's kinda too soon to tell
[Dr. Cox telling Kelso how much he misses him...]
Dr. Cox: When you were the Chief, you were a jackass and a nightmare and I hated you a great deal.
Dr. Kelso: That's a good start
