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It's springtime at Sacred Heart and the whole hospital has that end of the year smell. (J.D. sniffs nurse's hair and cringes)J.D.'s narration
- Permalink: It's springtime at Sacred Heart and the whole hospital has that ...
Turk: All right. Kim's right there. We spent all morning crafting a line so raw with confidence that if you pull it off...you're back in the game.
J.D.: I'm afraid, Mocha Bear.
Turk: I know...buck up. (Turk pushes J.D. over to Kim)
J.D.: Hey, Kim.
Kim: Oh, hey. J.D., how are you feeling?
J.D.: Well, uh... The swelling's gone down...for now.
(Long, dramatic pause)
Kim: (Laughing) You're an idiot!
- Permalink: All right. Kim's right there. We spent all morning crafting a li...
Head loves karaoke.J.D.
- Permalink: Head loves karaoke.
Dr. Cox: Say, Bobbo, you wanna weigh-in on pregnancy sex?
Dr. Kelso: It's a freak show.
- Permalink: Say, Bobbo, you wanna weigh-in on pregnancy sex? It's a freak ...
And then the ultimate Cox-block.J.D.
- Permalink: And then the ultimate Cox-block.
Dr. Kelso: I don't want to do this.
Janitor: I will just give the video tape to the police.
Dr. Kelso: Ladies and gentle, this is your chief of medical staff Bob Kelso, I feel compelled to tell you that I do in fact fear the Janitor. Honestly, is there anyone else of such brilliant mind? So please join me basking in the glow of the Janitors awesome... This isn't a word.
Janitor: Read it!
Dr. Kelso: ...'Fearatude'. Good night.
Janitor: ...and good luck! I love that movie.
- Permalink: I don't want to do this. I will just give the video tape to th...
Carla: Remember when I first started dating Turk and I wanted to bail on him because he cried at the end of sex?
J.D.: Relax Brown Bear. There's no shame in 'crymaxing'.
- Permalink: Remember when I first started dating Turk and I wanted to bail o...
Kim: This is the length of the average penis.
J.D.'s thoughts: What?!
Patient: That seems about right.
Kim: Good for you! I was just messing with J.D.
J.D.: You know what, I'm not talking to any of you guys. You're lying...! (J.D. checks patient's penis) Oh my God!
- Permalink: This is the length of the average penis. What?! That seems a...
Dr. Kelso: Listen up, name-tags!! I need to wire some cash to my son so we can make bail. Apparently, that musical he was producing was just a front for a crystal meth lab. And heres the kicker: he fled to Toronto so now the freakin' Mounties are involved!!
- Permalink: He fled to Toronto so now the freakin' Mounties are involved!!
J.D.: I saw you did that surgery on Mr. Peters. Did you decide it was the right thing to do?
Kim: No...actually it was a stupid career risk.
J.D.: Then why did you do it?
Kim: Because for some reason I find myself really caring about what you think of me.
- Permalink: I saw you did that surgery on Mr. Peters. Did you decide it was ...
I'll do it. I shouldn't be mopping in here anyway...this is a rug.Janitor
- Permalink: I'll do it. I shouldn't be mopping in here anyway...this is a ru...
Dr. Kelso: You know the difference between you and me, Dorian?
J.D.: Your melon-sized prostate, sir?
- Permalink: You know the difference between you and me, Dorian? Your melon...